It’s already August folks so if you have comments or questions for our guest columnist now would be the time to ask.

There is only one thing worse than rejection: rejection by ommissiom. After my first two years of writing I got the hang of the whole initial query process. In fact even now I am impressed how quickly I can compile a list of agents and get a query out of the virtual door. But just as the worst lies we tell are those where we withhold key information the worst rejections are those where the key information – namely the agent no longer has any interest in our work – is withheld perhaps indefinitely.

Look, I am a patient man. I looked forward to Christmas like any other kid but it never drove me insane. Neither did the wait for my driver’s license, the vote, or legal drinking. Even when I query I can forget about the letters as soon as they are sent and throw myself back into an unfinished project. I get a form rejection and it rolls off my back like water off a baby hippo.

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I am like a Gazelle crossing the river who has just been told there are more crocodiles in the river than ever before.  I run full speed towards the water because I know there is alot of green (and females) on the other side.  But when I get to the banks I take a hard turn and wait for the others to dive in so I can see the crocodiles snap so I know where they are.  I don’t slow down when those on my left and right fall – I know there is blood in the water.  When I make it to the other side I rejoice in the fallen because there is more grass (and females) for me.

Bet you thought this was an Icarus 30 post didn’t you?  Ha! No it’s your man KF Li.  Here are more tips from the titan of timesheets, the founding father of fraud, the liar’s liar…Mr. Michael Triforce, on how to get that check and avoid the ax at a law firm including why you should never rationalize your actions, how to play mind games with your fellow associates, how to keep your office and your person so you look like you’re billing what you say you’re billing.

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Hi kids.  So a buddy of mine just got laid off.  He’s in the very early stages of dealing with it.  Right now he is still looking for someone to blame.  It’s a sad situation.  He was supporting his live-in girlfriend who came with a freeloading half-brother with a drug problem and a dog who likes to pee on expensive things.  His folks are down on their luck as well and he was throwing a few dollars to his sister whose still in school and his mom and dad who are trying not to fall further behind on rent.

When I got the news I went into business mode, the way a doctor would if someone told him that they guy two rows over was having a heart attack.  Unlike a doctor though my efforts and expertise were unappreciated.  I was called insensitive and a bunch of other names.  I was reminded that I was still unemployed and the worst possible thing for anyone to imagine was a life that was in any way similar to my own.  Thanks.

But you guys here in Debtor’s Prison need to know what to do when the ax falls.  Because we are emotional creatures its impossible to have the conversation once you actually do lose your job (just like you can’t take Karate lessons once you’re being mugged).  So without further ado here is how you survive a layoff 1) move 2) get unemployment and 3) defer your loans.  More details after the break.

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[Original content temporarily suspended as a professional courteousy until the ethical investigation is complete. Older posts that failed to make the original cut will be rotated and substituted. If you have any questions, thoughts, concerns and most importantly if you need a copy of the ORIGINAL POST please contact nick@debtorsprison.com]

I got into the office uncharacteristically early because the Princess’ foghorn-like snoring kept waking me up. I stumbled upon this link (Link, get it?) from ATL

http://abovethelaw.com/2010/03/mutiny_at_mayer_brown.php#comments

For those too lazy to follow the link two kids who got deferred from their law firm made a stink about it. Over 300 comments followed, most stating the obvious: they’re ruined. Here’s what the two plucky bastards SHOULD have done, particularly if their deferment came with free money.

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Hi Kids. People have been commenting that there has been less useful information and more paranoia, idiocy and douche-baggery in recent posts SO yours truly has decided to start at the beginning with this simple principle: You are taxed on what you make, and you pay interest on what you borrow. If this simple truth does not inform your big picture than you are hopelessly at risk of over borrowing.

Now I know what you’re thinking, if you got into a school good enough to merit borrowing to attend, then you should be able to add and subtract right? I am sure each of us has made decisions that are different from what we would have chosen as our answer if our situation had been presented to us as a word problem on the SAT.

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