Put 2010 behind you.
Look forward to a debt free 2012
Sure. Why not?

But I’m through putting things behind me
I am keeping the past in front where I can see it
Besides the present is ugly
And I can’t see the future through the haze

Debt is literally the past coming back to haunt you
Debt is like a gas station a block away on a one way street but in the wrong direction. And you are just about out of gas. If only you could go back- but you can’t. Instead you’ll have to push a car a long long distance which will take a long long time.

What were you thinking a block ago? You knew how much gas you had…but you believed the lies they told you about the mileage. Now the red light is on but it’s too late to go back.

You get out to push. You expect the mocking jeers of those with gassed up cars but you never expected the insults and the rotten vegetables from the pedestrians who never drive. They remember the scorn of those driving by and their j willingness to slow down as they crossed the street. They think you’re still one of them.

You want to abandon your car but what if their is a gas station just over that next hill?

By the time you find a gas station you find the fuel is only compatible with newer cars. You are already a dinosaur.
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As the person with the lowest loan balance and second-highest current income I feel it’s my responsibility to say “wake up guys.” Now I am not saying it can’t be done but what I am saying is that if Benito or Triforce had enough going for them that they could come up with 200k apiece after taxes, they probably wouldn’t have student loans in the first place.  Additionally, the amount of money they would have to make and the time they would have to do it in negates most if not all legitimate enterprises given that they have no access to capital.

So let’s start with the most financially successful of the two: Mike Triforce.  Given his womanizing ways and association with failed actors my gut tells me his best shot is setting up a porn site starring himself.  Please, I am not being glib and I am disgusted by the idea but porn is legal and I would not be surprised if his girlfriend has supplemented her income with occasional work in the industry. Ok, that was catty, I (should) take that back.
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I know it’s 2011. I have loans in 2011.  But 2012 is eleven months 4 weeks and several days away. Or it is at the time of my writing this.  I could have no loans in 2012.  But first let’s recap:

I get a call from Triforce complaining about this 3-D TV he wants and he wants to talk to ME about paying off his loans. So I talk about cutting spending, jobs that have loan forgiveness, and rolling up his non-dischargable student debt into dischargable debt like a house. He then stated that he was determined to do it by next Christmas.

So I hear about this and the first thing I think of are all the lame blogs where kids with 200k in debt beg for money. I told him that we definitely weren’t going to do that. We then began to shoot down each other’s ideas. My first idea was to get a book published, maybe make the year’s worth of entries into a tiny book, something you’d buy at Urban Outfitters. Triforce asked If I had learned nothing from my “Tales of an Unpublished Author” series.  So that was out.

Triforce suggested we add a dating option to the site or create another one called “Dating for Debtors.” No wining, no dining, no problem. I vetoed pimping out our readers.

Ideas decreased in quality on both sides if that was even possible.  We came to no solid conclusions and the meeting ended with my asking the others to weigh-in on the feasibility of the proposal and any specific ideas they might have.

A year is pretty much shot once it becomes tainted with the sourness of reality. The best years are ladled with hope beyond the Horizon or myth and nostalga. But 2012 could be my first loan free year.

This isn’t exactly the season for embracing reality, especially for people of all ages who have but to ask in order to receive. So it’s particularly unremarkable that so many kids are in denial about 1) the size of their debt 2) the ability to earn a paycheck with the skills and degrees acquired with said debt and 3) the ability to earn a large enough paycheck over a large enough period of time to justify said debt taking into account opportunity costs, work/life balance considerations and other life goals. Obviously if our readers fell into this category they wouldn’t be reading our blog. The question is how does this ignorance effect you?

There are several categories to consider when evaluating what a pampered, over-educated and underskilled workforce -what it means for your own job prospects, the country, and your relationships.

What you probably care about most is your own ability to find gainful employment generally and in the field you studied. The net effect is poor. First the glut of these individuals allows employers to be choosy. If there is a younger version of you, you’re out of luck, if there is an unexplained gap in your resume you’re out of luck and regardless of your actual circumstances (injuries, sick or dying family, victim of crime) the assumption will be you were laid off for being the least valuable person in an organization. And this is AFTER you stop looking in vain for a job worthy of your degrees. This is Starbucks/Subway territory.

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It’s truly impressive when an undergrad manages to rack up $200,000 in student debt while graduating in four years but without a B.S. degree.  What’s even more impressive is the attention she’s managed to garner simply by starting a website and asking others to pay her debt for her.  Now, I understand the sentiment.  In fact, I’ll even admit it’s crossed my mind to do something designed to drum up actual donations similar to my failed attempt at the Pepsi Challenge.  But you know what stopped me? Common sense.  Beyond that.  Any sense at all.  Why would someone writing to an audience in extreme debt or in danger of going into extreme debt with no way to pay for it, then turn around and ask this same group of people for money? It’s like being a Republican and asking for the vote of someone not pulling in $250k. 

When I went to the site I expected a something similar to a “scam” blog.  I forget what Alpha Man said we should call these instead, anti-scam blogs? Truth blogs? Anyway, you know what I mean, and I thought I’d be getting that plus a place I could click to donate.  No.  For your donation, you are not even going to get what countless sites are giving away for free such as lessons learned, a unique perspective, and a personal story.  And you know what?  According to her, she’s received almost $8 grand.  To those of you in debtor’s prison with no means of supporting yourselves you understand what an astronomical sum this is.  But quick, let’s recap.  Free advice + truthful personal account = scam and self-donation request/money for no goods or services rendered including website content + unscathed entitlement = worthy of half the legal and debt-based blogs in the blogosphere? REALLY?!

I understand now why Alpha Man hates Sarah Palin so much.  When you bury yourself in a pile of tires on a sunny day and still get struck by lightening, nothing is worse than seeing the village idiot climb a tree in a thunderstorm with a large piece of sheet metal on their back, and finding the top of the tree a hidden cache of priceless stones.  Or 8 grand.  It’s not like you expected to find the money or the stones, though a pile of tires is a much better hiding place in my opinion, nor is it that you expected the idiot to be struck by lightening.  It’s just that you could have accepted ANY outcome other than the one that occurred, which is that stupidity is rewarded and hardwork with diligent, even conservative moves can lead to complete ruin.

At the end of the day I wish her good luck because she’s not out to screw the world.  If she somehow raises all or a significant portion of the money that will further confirm her entitlement and she will rack up debt with credit cards and poor real-estate choices.  If not, she’ll simply be in debt for the rest of her life.  After all, she can have her $8k.  I’ve got 100k…in site hits that is.

Roy Jones Jr. is a 16 year-old engineering protege who decided to attend The Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University, an HBCU, over ivy-league institutions and since has suffered ridicule for his courageous, brilliant and right decision. He exemplified honor, discipline and pride throughout the ordeal and has responded admirably to his critics. It is high time someone commended this young man and help him up as an example of someone who has acted with audacity, pride and power.

The implication for this blog is obvious. Mr. Jones chose the school that offered him the best scholarship, education and experience. He demonstrated wisdom beyond the grasp of 18 and 19 year-oldsters, citing the quality of his specific program and his recognition that many of the schools that accepted him are prestigious in name only. Mr. Jones is not a clown or a performer. He is not here to amuse or impress you because you don’t have a job for him. You can’t afford his services. Mr. Jones has impressed Lockeed Martin. Perhaps you’ve heard of them – they are one of the many employers unimpressed with your over-academic pedigree and has yet to respond to your unsolicited job application.

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Simon is perfect. That’s not good enough. My student loans are manageable. That’s not good enough either. Sadly good enough can only be used to describe the work of my incompetent interns who I routinely flog verbally until I see their little spirits die behind their eyes.

Simon has to walk a fine line. He needs to have money, but not TOO much money lest I develop a lifestyle dependent on him. He needs to be forceful and strong like a man but I always have to have my way. He has to be able to fix things but can’t have that “blue collar” essence otherwise he is beneath me. His racial/ethnic background can’t be just like mine otherwise every black woman I know will get on me about snatching him up, but he also can’t be good old boy white because the chances of that being a turn-on are close to nil. Eastern European works. And of course he has to be model hot. I want big muscles and eight pack definition just like a man wants large breasts and a small waist. I feel the same way about my debt.

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I like Erin, I really do. When I broke up with Simon’s Girlfriend she almost took my side. Still, I must take issue with her last post and lament the fact that apparently in addition to slow traffic we tend not to read each other’s posts.

Again, Erin I am happy for you. You seem to be living a normal life. You have a normal job, you have enough money to sustain you and you are not a serial killer. But your thesis that normal debt and student debt are alike is fundamentally flawed. Forgive me if I don’t make a power point presentation but instead sum it up by saying what is missing from your equation is all the consumer goods people buy with credit card debt.

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And from blogging apparently. This is the fourth post I have started. Fingers crossed that I finish.  My break from
Politics doesn’t mean starting now that the election is almost passed. I mean my break since I switched jobs.  Lawyers tend to have a hyper sensitivity to politics. Debt and money too for that matter – even though they do not have a lion’s share of either.

Most people think of politics like their favorite sports team. They started voting for a party or following a team probably because their father did or because that is what you had to do to get along where ever you happen to be. Last night’s game is discussed over coffee during the early week and… that’s it.

I will vote of course. But this serene place I like to call an average corporate office has allowed me to see and state the obvious. After all that is what consultants do. Republicans will make gains because it is a midterm election. Something unexpected but ultimately minor will happen and Republicans will fail to win Congress in it’s entirety. If Obama pulls out of Afghanistan and the economy turns around he’ll get reelected. If not, he won’t.

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When I was just a kid with a newly minted driver’s license I was dropping off my first girlfriend who happened to be of the Caucasian persuasion when I was spotted by a cop. He tailed me from a distance and pulled me over after I dropped her off. Now I was just a kid and I didn’t believe pigs, er cops were really as bad as the rappers and every single black male in my family made them out to be. I sputtered and stuttered said I’d never been in trouble, stated my gpa, church and showed him my honor society membership. He laughed in my face, yanked me out of the car, harassed me and in the end wrote me up for reckless driving and every other moving violation in existence. The point is groveling doesn’t work with cops and it doesn’t work with law school deans, Sallie Mae or anyone else with the power to free you from some crushing debt.

Look, I understand that this idiot was either desperate, giving into a moment of weakness or trying to be funny. Unfortunately it doesn’t matter because either way you gave some asshole dean the personal satisfaction of putting a face and a testimonial to the lives he helps ruin. Think of it. This idiot is tired of the freedoms of academia and now is comparing himself to his friends who are mid-level and senior partners who by now have amassed net worths of $1 million or more. Maybe if he was a federal judge the prestige of poverty would be worth it but not a likely dean. You just made this fool’s day.

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