We were warned about this when we were children, it’s in Aesop’s Fables. Fortunately due to our crippling debt we’ll never have families.  There is always the chance of a contraception mishap but now that I’m on the other side of 30 I don’t really see that happening. But I digress.  The Tortoise and the Hare.  The way I read this story now is that we are Hares, the Tortoises are our idiot peers who coasted through high school and their state University of choice, only to end up managing us after we went into debt earning useless degrees that don’t land us jobs in this economy. I mean when you think about it, these ignoramuses who can drink a keg and not fall over are the epitome of “slow and steady.”

But seriously, let’s look at the Economics of this. In addition to reading children’s picture books I also have read the Wall Street Journal as of late. The article pointed out that the number 1 indicator of future success is the state of the economy your first 2-3 years of working. Kids who enter the job market in a recession NEVER recover to the point of other classes no matter how good they are or how fast they run.

So while you were borrowing 30k+ a year to go to grad school your idiot neighbor with a BA in political intrigue (because it makes him sound like a spy) was already earning 42k a year, which was 60k with no debt by the time the economy slid into the toilet.  Meanwhile you graduated to nothing with six figure debt.  3-5 years later, you consider yourself lucky (at first) to be getting 40k a year which isn’t even the STARTING salary of your idiot friend with none of your credentials, and by now he’s making six figures, thanks to the 15% raises he kept getting even after the economy sunk because by then he had “experience.”

For your own sanity’s sake my first recommendation is that you disassociate as much as you can socially from the idiot drawing six figures.  I know its tough if the individual REALLY IS your boss, but to the extent possible try and avoid looking at their smug, ugly, condescending face. Oh and drink. Otherwise you’ll find yourself planning an office shooting.

For those of you who are not completely broken, there is…well, hope is a strong word.  You have a chance, let’s put it at that. Just remember a couple of things 1) this idiot is still an idiot 2) stop playing their game 3) the secret to success is non-wage based income.

First, your idiot friend is still an idiot.  And he lives in a completely different world than you.  There was no recession for this kid. He will still borrow heavily to buy the perfect house.  He has car payments. He won’t pick up a tab at a bar and he’ll charge you $20 to chip in for alcohol at his house, but all the expensive toys you just spent $20 and an evening you’ll never get back to look at…the gym equipment he never uses and the music equipment he hopefully never uses, that’s all him.  Let’s not forget the idiot spouse and did I mention this fool has kids on purpose? Things might just even out due to the miracle of Regular debt.

Second, you need to stop playing their game.  This means two basic things.  First, you are never going to have the trappings of a middle class life, such as home ownership, a car seven years old or less, children, or savings. Second, you are not going to get promoted at your current job or get a better job similar to the job you have (in terms of utilizing the same skillset). This means if you are working hard at your day job, you’re doing life wrong.  Your new motto needs to be “do what it takes not to get fired.”  Do this and watch other smart people like you get fired for embarrassing their idiot boss, emerging as a threat, or just constantly being in high risk situations.

Third, non-wage based income. Continue to live like a filthy student, decide once and for-all if you are going to aggressively pay down your debt or default, and then sink every penny you make into some kind of investment, whether its buying a fleet of food trucks, flipping houses, or selling junk you find on e-bay. It’s the only way really.

Our nap was called “grad school” and it proved fatal in this race.  For the rematch the now wealthy tortoise has paid his goons to do a number on our legs with a crowbar.  Now the only way to win is to take a traditionally thought of as risky path now that the tortoise is all risk-averse because he has something to lose.

But please for the love of god people, don’t go back to sleep.  Another degree is not the answer.

It’s been a while.  When you’re a doctor you end up saying that a lot, especially around friends. Like most black folk, after the initial rage at the Trayvon shooting subsides we reflect on our lives and blessings start thinking about other shit we’re mad about. Mine is health disparities.  Perhaps they are related.  I mean if you had a statistical reason to believe that any meal could be your last before being gunned down by a cop or being wrongfully incarcerated perhaps chicken and ribs would be an appropriate diet.   I have no idea what Simon eats (I am a lousy girlfriend) but subconsciously I am sure I don’t worry about it as much because he’s white. How messed up is that?

As I slave away at my fellowship, becoming a full-fledged doctor in my chosen field is within site.  But I am 32. And I am still poor.  My finance major friends are at a point where there investments yield interest that is equivalent to my salary.  But hey, at least I am helping people right? Well sorta.  Patients.  One at a time. Who would be helped by someone else who would have gotten this spot in this fellowship if I didn’t exist.  I would have preferred to work in policy where my work had the potential to help many people and couldn’t have been accomplished by some other shmuck willing to stay in school until they were 40.

I talked to my Mom about this once.  Going into public health.  She replied that a B+ inorganic chemistry was no big deal (in fact it was and I lost the car for a semester).  I mentioned the same thing to my dad who referred me back to my mother. But taking up Benito’s mantle of re-inventing oneself I decided, at this EXTREMELY late time in the game to go back and see if it wasn’t too late.

It’s too late.  Public health folks, particularly those who work closely with Medicaid and other programs don’t much care for doctors.  That’s because Medicaid doesn’t reimburse doctors at as high a rate as private insurance and doctors are forever bitching about it.

Now as I said, I’m poor.  I’ll be 35 before I start making six figures. My financial friends have been making close to seven and my lawyer friends are either dead or close to making partner. It’s time for me to get mine, and hell yes I picked my specialty based on the number of routine procedures I knew insurance wouldn’t question and hell yes I’ll run some unnecessary tests and hell yes I do have my first Mercedes picked out.

When I met a friend from college who still views me as a person and not a doctor we finally got down to some real talk.  Med  school is too long, but it ain’t like law school where you can just lop off a year and nothing happens. To make the medical path shorter college (and perhaps even high school) would need to be severely truncated. Also the government needs to pick up that tab for schooling and offer us docs a couple tax credits on the back end.

But its whatever.  Nothing puts a single death in context like thinking about millions of deaths.  The Supreme Court is about to condemn millions to death because they have a grudge against the President. At least Trayvon’s killer has to live in hiding. Those evil, faux-pious bastards will be lauded for their despicable ruling. I also love how six hours of oral argument over three days is a huge deal and they complain that going through the entire law EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE CLERKS.  But again, it’s whatever.  It’s not like lives are at stake. Oh wait.  Wow, I really hate them.

It takes a lot to get one of us to write these days.  Alpha Man promised me a simple explanation of the crux of the Occupy Movement’s issues and he has yet to deliver.  Me, I am content for the time being just to be part of something.  Looking for an answer beats looking for a job. Probably because unlike a job, I know the truth exists.

However I had to tell you guys about this: M.I.T. is providing free, online education that now comes with a certified credential that exhibits mastery of the material. I am including the link below

http://www.forbes.com/sites/jamesmarshallcrotty/2011/12/21/m-i-t-game-changer-free-online-education-for-all/

These aren’t taped lectures people! This is a real, interactive experience that captures a great deal of the amazing value of an M.I.T. education.  And it is available to any and everyone for free and it’s learn at your own pace. You could do this at 19 or 59, the latter number being significant given that the fastest growing demographic for taking on student debt is now middle-aged people.

This is the future.  This is how the revolution ends.  This is meritocracy at its purest form, this is what will change everything…and if our generation being regulated to debt slavery forever is the cost of the vicious cycle becoming a permanent thing of the past, I just might be ok with that. I’m not saying we’re going to be sitting at a Thanksgiving table 50 years from now telling stories about taking to the streets like the Civil Rights generation, but that’s ok too.

Hopefully we’ll still have each other.

Hi folks! We here at Debtor’s Prison are pleased to introduce Rebecca Smith who has been kind enough to write a guest column.  We are impressed with Rebecca’s work and hope she will write for us again.

REBECCA SMITH

The latest chapter of a painful story that began years ago was the debt fight that continued in the capital of the nation and the ensuing credit downgrade by the Standard & Poor’s.  In the last decade, the banks, consumers and the homeowners became bloated with too much leverage or borrowed a huge amount of money and this resulted in a drastic shrinkage of credit throughout the entire economy, a particular phenomenon that is financially known as ‘deleveraging’. Apart from the big picture, the consumers too were worried about the ways in which they can seek debt relief so as to stay out of the debt cycle.

The present situation of the US is nothing new and the government has been grappling with such issues and has also been throwing billions to dollars to provide a quick cure from such problems. Even after continuous meetings and steps taken to assess and improve the current state of the US economy, there has been no positive result that is noticeable. Though the labor market reports were slightly positive in the month of July and August, 2011, yet there has been no such noticeable increase in the growth of jobs within the market that could alleviate the spurring unemployment level. Gut-wrenching market plunges, accompanied by multiple negative aspects of the economy show that the economy is losing steam. Despite all such nerve-wracking events within the US economy, very few expect the policymakers to reveal some new stimulus plans to rejuvenate the lost shine of the nation.

Fed Runs Out of Bullets – Is the Arsenal Empty?

While the Federal Reserve seems to be running short of bullets, the government is also low on ammunition. With the fractious debt fight demonstrated in Washington, the idea of “deleveraging” has even spread within the government. Both the local governments and the state governments are implementing draconian cutbacks to get back on track. The Congress, in the month of September, 2011 voted for a cutback of $2.5 trillion trim from the federal budget deficit and if this step is taken, this would perhaps be the most remarkable move towards austerity during a time when the economy is hardly growing.

The result of this is being shown in the unemployment rate that is stubbornly hovering around the 9% rate. As the debt ceiling debates followed by the raising of the debt ceiling sidelined the increased government spending, there’s very little cushion for the economy to fall back on, if there are chances of backsliding into yet another financial fiasco.

Credit Busts – Is There a Quick Cure or is This Going to Continue?

The most prominent result of “deleveraging” is the economic quagmire and this is also the reason for the extremely sluggish economic growth. According to a study done in the year 2010, it has been seen that it takes a nation minimum 6-8 years to emerge from the deleveraging process. Deleveraging has self-reinforcing effects! If the consumers have a high debt load and they stop purchasing things, the businesses will automatically stop hiring people and this will have a further impact on consumer spending. When the economy will face a dire financial situation, the US government will typically provide the economy with a shot in the form of spending projects or tax cuts. But the main issue here is that the government is running out of all the stimulus bullets!

The Federal Reserve has posed to be the final backstop for the economy. Though the central bank has tried to do everything possible within its means to spur economic growth, reducing the short term interest rates to nearly 0, purchasing billion worth Treasury Bonds and by putting the delinquent mortgages on the balance sheet, yet something more still needs to be done.

With the US economists and the analysts worrying about the future of the US economy, on a personal level, the consumers should also remain aware of their personal debt ceiling so that they don’t add on to the credit card debt level as this worsens the bigger picture in the long run. Get help from a professional

www.debtconsolidationcare.com

Rebecca is a financial blogger & associated with the online debt community debtconsolidationcare.com. If you want to know more about her & the community, you can get latest updates here on Twitter.com debtcc.

So I am sure you all have seen Robert Applebaum’s petition to President Obama. I for one am in favor of it and like Charlie Brown kicking a football think it could happen.

However, instead of my thoughts and reasons which simply would echo Robert’s in a less eloquent unresearched fashion let’s here from Alpha Man who is in favor it but thinks it will never happen and Mike Triforce who is against it but feels it could get pushed through.

By way of background Robert is essentially proposing legislation that forgives student loans AS AN ECONOMIC stimulus. Obviously, like all of us Robert believes that we have suffered an injustice and that’s the main motivation for the bill, however the OFFICIAL argument is that this will promote spending, stimulate demand for things, create jobs or whatever. Think of it like Republicans and tax cuts. Republicans like tax cuts for the rich because they are rich and the rest of the country be damned. However they argue that tax cuts are good for the economy because they allow small business owners to hire more people than they would otherwise and make the country more attractive to international corporations who can set up shop anywhere.

So, let’s get to arguments. Mike Triforce first.

One of the good things about losing a string of posts is that it gives you some time to reflect on what you wrote . With respect to the Thomas Jefferson Law School lawsuit I feel I originally failed to get at the real crux of the matter.  For those of you unfamiliar an unemployed law grad with excellent grades is suing her alma mater for false advertising because they materially misrepresented their employment statistics to her when she was considering matriculating.

Triforce and Alpha Man had a long fight about it and I sat on the sidelines eventually reluctantly agreeing with Triforce that there was no case because there was no precedent, no specific guarantee was made, and because surely there were enough employed individuals from this school so as to make the premise easily rebuttable.  I didn’t even touch the Triforce slippery slope/don’t hate the player argument. Alpha Man muttered something about cracker lawyers under his breath but stuck to his guns about consumer fraud and the seriousness of a potential FTC violation.

All three of us missed the point.  When I had a vision for this forum I wanted to open it to all student debtors/unemployed folks, not just the ones who wrote about strictly legal issues because what we are seeing here is not simply the last haggard gasps of an archaic industry that refuses to change.  We’re looking at the putrifying slime on the underbelly of the oppressively heavy rock that is society.

The reason this case, at the end of the day, will never ever prevail is because in order to prevail people with jobs (the judge, the jury, the prosecutor, even the defense attorney to some degree) will have to decide that people without jobs (the plaintiff and similarly situated people) are not completely the product of their own choices, God-given potential and work ethic.  That conclusion almost inevitably leads to the idea that people with jobs are also not completely the product of their own choices, God-given potenial and work ethic.  That revelation would then call into question 90% of their own words and conduct both generally speaking and with reference to the indebted and unemployed. I promise you that’s never going to happen.

I have always been acutely aware that individuals familiar with my situation judge me like a poodle with a shaved bottom at a dog show.  I know they view me as a complete and utter failure.  I can see them looking at me, recalling some hardship in their own lives they eventually overcame as evidence that yes I really am a failure, then refocusing their now colder stare that reads “final judgment – you are guilty of inferior character and permanent defect.”  I’ve come to deal with this phenomenon by mentally treating people as if they are from another planet.  From my perspective these individuals are laughing at me for falling after being thrown off a cliff.  On the tiny moon where they are from gravity is virtually non-existent.  Now I can argue about gravity until I am blue in the face but unless you are gifted physics professor it really is the sort of thing that must be experienced.  Furthermore, even if I am successful, these aliens think I am on THEIR planet.  And maybe I am…except the planet has grown by leaps and bounds and they haven’t jumped, stumbled or fallen in 30 years.

Sorry Anna Alaburda, your lawsuit will continue to be blog fodder and the subject of jokes at Fox News.  What you are doing is like running for President when only the people in the opposing party are allowed to vote in the General Election. The sad thing is that even if the jury was composed entirely of unemployed folks you’d still lose because even those of us who have experienced it still believe in choices, potential and work ethic.  We’re just a strange abberation, like an albino.  We hate the unemployed even more because they make us look bad.

So I’ve been at my new job for just under a year and am at that crucial point where the mere fact that my job is not something I remember hating is no longer enough to sustain me through each day.  This development has coincided with a mental paradigm shift: I no longer compare myself to the broken, debt-ridden, one foot in the grave at 30 law school classmates of yesteryear. I now compare myself to the young professionals who are getting married, starting families and doing this peculiar activity called “living.” This is significant because whereas I am doing much better than my colleagues left to rot in the dead legal profession I am doing much worse than my colleagues who went the “business analyst” route (think liberal arts majors with soft computer skills).

I don’t think my experience is unique. When you get out of s really bad situation, below average seems fantastic. In relationships it’s called being on the rebound. Then one day you wake up next to a married assistant manager of your local deli and realize just because he doesn’t hit you or sell your stuff online doesn’t mean he’s Mr. Right. Well, I just realized my job is that assistant manager.

The question is what to do about it. It’s no secret that hard work is not all it’s cracked up to be in the real world. Most hard work comes from the stick, not the carrot and there is no guarantee that if I suddenly spend less time shopping online the powers that be will notice it.  Then there is of course finding another job. I don’t want to do this for two reasons. The obvious first is Benito who has spent years unsuccessfully trying to find a job and still bursts into tears over the interview that was cancelled on him. Bedsides looking for a job is a full time job and I just don’t care that much.

The second reason is that my inability to be satisfied with my moderate under-employment illustrates that I am beginning to forget how horrid law was, which means under the right circumstances (a raise, feeling fat) I just might go back, either as a paralegal or law student or even both. Unacceptable.

There is a third option. I could slack at my current job as much as possible while simultaneously trying to start my own business on the side. Of course to do that I would have to find something I care about. The only thing I’ve cared about recently is whether I’ve been religious about using condoms and by recently I mean for the last three years at least.

Hi assholes! Here’s a poem for you

There once was a man named Wenis…

Forget it.  I don’t feel like rhyming despite the sarcastic remarks about why I should “stick to my 5th grade rhymes and stop trying to address serious issues.” And yes I deleted the comment and then quoted in the body of a post.  Sue me.  Particularly if you’re an unemployed lawyer.  It will give you something to do.

ANYway, since I will be the first to admit my last post on this subject was a little garbled, I am going to try again by simply pointing out one reason why suicide can be an action taken by a rational individual.  I cannot stress enough that 1) my writing this does not mean I personally am “suicidal” or 2) that suicide is or is ever the right decision.  Regardless of one’s faculties for logic the rammifications of such a violent act can never be fully predicted and the decision can never be overturned or mitigated.  Suicide makes no sense just like the death-penalty makes no sense from that perspective.

All right, on to the point.  A reason why suicide is statistically higher amongst our marginalized peers is that consciously or not, our life’s goal from a financial perspective is to achieve a zero networth, and to never be hounded about our loans ever again.  For better or for worse, suicide achieves that.

Let’s flesh this out a little bit.  Whether you took on massive debt $200k + for a highly specialized, professional degree and work in a pressure cooker (law firm, hospital, investment outfit) or you took out a fairly high level of debt but work in a career that’s never going to drop six figures on you until you’ve put in decades on the job (school, government) you start WAY behind the eight ball and your first order of business is to get rid of that debt so life, your REAL life, can begin.

So you put off getting married or buying a house, you don’t get the car you’ve always dreamed of.  You miss bachelor parties, the birth of nieces, nephews and kids whom you could have served as a godparent but for your inability to participate in normal social activities because you’re saving up to pay off that debt which is the responsible thing. 

After a few years you realize your youth is over, you’ll never find another person like the one you didn’t marry who has since moved on, the perfect little house on the corner sold and has skyrocketed in value and they’ve discontinued your dream car.  BUT at least your debt…has pretty much stayed the same if not grown due to the missed payment where life’s emergencies dictated you spend the money elsewhere.  Right around now the depression hits.  You blame your debt and it becomes your number 1 enemy.  All you want is for it to go away.

And see, here is where I find Mike Triforce useful.  If you step back, it’s easy to see that a better solution than suicide is to just stop caring about your debt.  Run up your credit, drink and whore, buy an even BETTER car and fill a swank bachelor/bachelorette pad with all the consumeristic crap a credit card you can default on can buy.  Heck, if you literally devoted 100% of your income to paying off your non-defaultable debt and the minimum balance on debt you can default on you probably could pay off your student loans in 15+ years, including the 7 years post-bankruptcy when you can’t really buy or do anything.  Or heck, even pull an Alpha Man, live off the grid and become an angry pseudo-crusader and just rage against things.

But if it’s happening to YOU then it’s right in your face and it can seem that suicide is the only way out, because again it achieves the goal.  Zero net worth.  Nobody bothers you for the cash ever again.  Now again, note how that logic is similar to the following: I want a high paying job.  Corporate lawyer is a high paying job.  I’ll go to a prestigious law school and be a corporate lawyer.  Bad decision? Of course.  Illogical? Not necessarily.   Really, both arguments are simply oversimplifications.  If you were to ask someone why they wanted to get out of debt they’d probably say “so I can keep my money and use it to build a life I can enjoy.” Heh, well if you make rorschach on your bedroom wall with your brains, that pretty much negates the purpose of getting out of debt.  Similarly, if you ask someone why they want a high paying job (presumably its not the stress or responsibility) they usually say “so I can make money and use it to build a life I can enjoy.” Heh, well debt shoots that idea in the foot, particularly if you’ve never worked or made a large purchase on credit and do not instinctively factor taxes and interest into everything you do.

The point is we need to stop treating suicide as the symptom of a mental disease.  That doesn’t mean that certain individuals who DO have a mental imbalance (like depression) don’t commit suicide, it’s simply that there is no pure ”suicidal.”  There are simply scenarios where suicide might seem like the most attractive option for dealing with a real or perceived problem.

Hello, my name is Benito Mario.  I am a 31 year-old balding two-time graduate level ivy-league grad who is unemployed, living with his mother and has never held a full-time job for more than 18 months.  My two older brothers each earned their GEDs after age 35 and are millionaires.  They refuse to employ or speak to me because they feel our parents favored me due to my academic success.  They won’t come by the house if I’m there unless it’s Thanksgiving or Christmas.  My mother tolerates my presence in part out of stubborness towards them.  That’s my reality everyday when I wake up in the morning. Oh, and I have $200k in debt that I have no way of ever paying.

Now, here’s what I could have said

Hello my name is Benito Mario.  I’m a doctor (of the arts).  I stay on campus, I try to give something back to the kids you know? Do you like my hat? I’m a free spirit, I could NEVER do the 9-5 thing.  I mean, corporate America? Hello?? I’m the first in my family to go on to do post-graduate work, and if you’re going to do something you might as well do it all the way right?  I mean you can’t go ivy-league for undergrad and then settle for less afterwards right? My older brothers give me a lot of shit about the debt but come on, they are plumbers who never even graduated from high school.  They resent me because I was the favorite. In fact, I’m the only one who ever checks in on mom.

It’s tempting to go with the latter statement.  Heck, if you can keep your hat on it might even get you an invitation to come home with someone.  Their are two problems with the statement.  The first is you might start actually believing it.  The second is that if you busy yourself living a lie or creating a facade, you can’t do anything about the underlying problem – in this case the multi-billion dollar student debt industry.

The first problem isn’t that big a deal given the fact that you eventually die and that one only has but so many opportunities for happiness.  On balance, I am not prepared to say that if you put off shame at every opportunity and just lie to yourself you might not on average feel better over the course of your life than if you accept the grim reality of your situation, all the shame that goes with it, and from there move on to regain some level of dignity.  I chose the latter path and all I can say is if this is the better path then the paths must be pretty similar.  After all, I boldly declared in January that this would be my last year of debt.  Even opened up a bank account that I was confident would somehow have $200k in it by December.  Current balance: $0.  Well, it’s negative actually, as there are penalties for maintaining a zero balance but that is another story.

The second is the bigger problem. Now, it is true that one should be motivated by a sense of altruism to warn people about a trap they themselves fell victim to, even if it doesn’t help their situation…but I am a realist and I am going to appeal to a baser instinct: revenge.  After all, if you’re swallowed by a sea serpent, don’t you at least hope the bastard chokes? Even if he can’t eat any of the sailors still on the boat who are making fun of you because you can’t swim?

I know it’s tempting to forget the difference between an asshole and an enemy.  I also know low hanging fruit (sure Mr. Pretentious, go to law school, the BEST school, forget about that scholarship T-14 or nothing baby!) is attractive.  But the serpent counts on that.  So Embrace the shame.  And speak up about what happened to you.

Anyway so I get home and for some reason calculate my loans to date: $277,451. Wow. 300k is on the horizon. It would have been worth it if I had been tagging ass like I am now for the past 8 years. Everytime I have a night like last night I think about what a waste 7 years was at a state school not getting any. Oh well.

The current plan is still to sit for the CA bar in July and then practice law my last two years in law school. During that time I need to find the perfect class action, file it, settle it for pennies on the dollar and get paid. I don’t really want to meet with clients so hopefully I can do this with some kind of cyber tort, something along the lines of Privacy. Cash out, do the whole adjunct professor thing while keeping an eye out for other lottery tickets while bagging a steady stream of nickels and the occasional dime. Even if I have to pay for it.

If not there is always my mother’s couch. I sort of have a plan B involving my own shingle and living completely off company money but I get tired just thinking about it.

The sad thing is the size of my debt has literally no bearing on my life. It will either be a single payment will equal an insurmountable sum or the entire amount will be a weekend in Vegas. It’s all so meaningless.