We were warned about this when we were children, it’s in Aesop’s Fables. Fortunately due to our crippling debt we’ll never have families.  There is always the chance of a contraception mishap but now that I’m on the other side of 30 I don’t really see that happening. But I digress.  The Tortoise and the Hare.  The way I read this story now is that we are Hares, the Tortoises are our idiot peers who coasted through high school and their state University of choice, only to end up managing us after we went into debt earning useless degrees that don’t land us jobs in this economy. I mean when you think about it, these ignoramuses who can drink a keg and not fall over are the epitome of “slow and steady.”

But seriously, let’s look at the Economics of this. In addition to reading children’s picture books I also have read the Wall Street Journal as of late. The article pointed out that the number 1 indicator of future success is the state of the economy your first 2-3 years of working. Kids who enter the job market in a recession NEVER recover to the point of other classes no matter how good they are or how fast they run.

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It’s been a while.  When you’re a doctor you end up saying that a lot, especially around friends. Like most black folk, after the initial rage at the Trayvon shooting subsides we reflect on our lives and blessings start thinking about other shit we’re mad about. Mine is health disparities.  Perhaps they are related.  I mean if you had a statistical reason to believe that any meal could be your last before being gunned down by a cop or being wrongfully incarcerated perhaps chicken and ribs would be an appropriate diet.   I have no idea what Simon eats (I am a lousy girlfriend) but subconsciously I am sure I don’t worry about it as much because he’s white. How messed up is that?

As I slave away at my fellowship, becoming a full-fledged doctor in my chosen field is within site.  But I am 32. And I am still poor.  My finance major friends are at a point where there investments yield interest that is equivalent to my salary.  But hey, at least I am helping people right? Well sorta.  Patients.  One at a time. Who would be helped by someone else who would have gotten this spot in this fellowship if I didn’t exist.  I would have preferred to work in policy where my work had the potential to help many people and couldn’t have been accomplished by some other shmuck willing to stay in school until they were 40.

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It takes a lot to get one of us to write these days.  Alpha Man promised me a simple explanation of the crux of the Occupy Movement’s issues and he has yet to deliver.  Me, I am content for the time being just to be part of something.  Looking for an answer beats looking for a job. Probably because unlike a job, I know the truth exists.

However I had to tell you guys about this: M.I.T. is providing free, online education that now comes with a certified credential that exhibits mastery of the material. I am including the link below

http://www.forbes.com/sites/jamesmarshallcrotty/2011/12/21/m-i-t-game-changer-free-online-education-for-all/

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Hi folks! We here at Debtor’s Prison are pleased to introduce Rebecca Smith who has been kind enough to write a guest column.  We are impressed with Rebecca’s work and hope she will write for us again.

REBECCA SMITH

The latest chapter of a painful story that began years ago was the debt fight that continued in the capital of the nation and the ensuing credit downgrade by the Standard & Poor’s.  In the last decade, the banks, consumers and the homeowners became bloated with too much leverage or borrowed a huge amount of money and this resulted in a drastic shrinkage of credit throughout the entire economy, a particular phenomenon that is financially known as ‘deleveraging’. Apart from the big picture, the consumers too were worried about the ways in which they can seek debt relief so as to stay out of the debt cycle.

The present situation of the US is nothing new and the government has been grappling with such issues and has also been throwing billions to dollars to provide a quick cure from such problems. Even after continuous meetings and steps taken to assess and improve the current state of the US economy, there has been no positive result that is noticeable. Though the labor market reports were slightly positive in the month of July and August, 2011, yet there has been no such noticeable increase in the growth of jobs within the market that could alleviate the spurring unemployment level. Gut-wrenching market plunges, accompanied by multiple negative aspects of the economy show that the economy is losing steam. Despite all such nerve-wracking events within the US economy, very few expect the policymakers to reveal some new stimulus plans to rejuvenate the lost shine of the nation.

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So I am sure you all have seen Robert Applebaum’s petition to President Obama. I for one am in favor of it and like Charlie Brown kicking a football think it could happen.

However, instead of my thoughts and reasons which simply would echo Robert’s in a less eloquent unresearched fashion let’s here from Alpha Man who is in favor it but thinks it will never happen and Mike Triforce who is against it but feels it could get pushed through.

By way of background Robert is essentially proposing legislation that forgives student loans AS AN ECONOMIC stimulus. Obviously, like all of us Robert believes that we have suffered an injustice and that’s the main motivation for the bill, however the OFFICIAL argument is that this will promote spending, stimulate demand for things, create jobs or whatever. Think of it like Republicans and tax cuts. Republicans like tax cuts for the rich because they are rich and the rest of the country be damned. However they argue that tax cuts are good for the economy because they allow small business owners to hire more people than they would otherwise and make the country more attractive to international corporations who can set up shop anywhere.

So, let’s get to arguments. Mike Triforce first.

One of the good things about losing a string of posts is that it gives you some time to reflect on what you wrote . With respect to the Thomas Jefferson Law School lawsuit I feel I originally failed to get at the real crux of the matter.  For those of you unfamiliar an unemployed law grad with excellent grades is suing her alma mater for false advertising because they materially misrepresented their employment statistics to her when she was considering matriculating.

Triforce and Alpha Man had a long fight about it and I sat on the sidelines eventually reluctantly agreeing with Triforce that there was no case because there was no precedent, no specific guarantee was made, and because surely there were enough employed individuals from this school so as to make the premise easily rebuttable.  I didn’t even touch the Triforce slippery slope/don’t hate the player argument. Alpha Man muttered something about cracker lawyers under his breath but stuck to his guns about consumer fraud and the seriousness of a potential FTC violation.
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So I’ve been at my new job for just under a year and am at that crucial point where the mere fact that my job is not something I remember hating is no longer enough to sustain me through each day.  This development has coincided with a mental paradigm shift: I no longer compare myself to the broken, debt-ridden, one foot in the grave at 30 law school classmates of yesteryear. I now compare myself to the young professionals who are getting married, starting families and doing this peculiar activity called “living.” This is significant because whereas I am doing much better than my colleagues left to rot in the dead legal profession I am doing much worse than my colleagues who went the “business analyst” route (think liberal arts majors with soft computer skills).

I don’t think my experience is unique. When you get out of s really bad situation, below average seems fantastic. In relationships it’s called being on the rebound. Then one day you wake up next to a married assistant manager of your local deli and realize just because he doesn’t hit you or sell your stuff online doesn’t mean he’s Mr. Right. Well, I just realized my job is that assistant manager.
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Hi assholes! Here’s a poem for you

There once was a man named Wenis…

Forget it.  I don’t feel like rhyming despite the sarcastic remarks about why I should “stick to my 5th grade rhymes and stop trying to address serious issues.” And yes I deleted the comment and then quoted in the body of a post.  Sue me.  Particularly if you’re an unemployed lawyer.  It will give you something to do.

ANYway, since I will be the first to admit my last post on this subject was a little garbled, I am going to try again by simply pointing out one reason why suicide can be an action taken by a rational individual.  I cannot stress enough that 1) my writing this does not mean I personally am “suicidal” or 2) that suicide is or is ever the right decision.  Regardless of one’s faculties for logic the rammifications of such a violent act can never be fully predicted and the decision can never be overturned or mitigated.  Suicide makes no sense just like the death-penalty makes no sense from that perspective.

All right, on to the point.  A reason why suicide is statistically higher amongst our marginalized peers is that consciously or not, our life’s goal from a financial perspective is to achieve a zero networth, and to never be hounded about our loans ever again.  For better or for worse, suicide achieves that.

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Hello, my name is Benito Mario.  I am a 31 year-old balding two-time graduate level ivy-league grad who is unemployed, living with his mother and has never held a full-time job for more than 18 months.  My two older brothers each earned their GEDs after age 35 and are millionaires.  They refuse to employ or speak to me because they feel our parents favored me due to my academic success.  They won’t come by the house if I’m there unless it’s Thanksgiving or Christmas.  My mother tolerates my presence in part out of stubborness towards them.  That’s my reality everyday when I wake up in the morning. Oh, and I have $200k in debt that I have no way of ever paying.

Now, here’s what I could have said

Hello my name is Benito Mario.  I’m a doctor (of the arts).  I stay on campus, I try to give something back to the kids you know? Do you like my hat? I’m a free spirit, I could NEVER do the 9-5 thing.  I mean, corporate America? Hello?? I’m the first in my family to go on to do post-graduate work, and if you’re going to do something you might as well do it all the way right?  I mean you can’t go ivy-league for undergrad and then settle for less afterwards right? My older brothers give me a lot of shit about the debt but come on, they are plumbers who never even graduated from high school.  They resent me because I was the favorite. In fact, I’m the only one who ever checks in on mom.

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Not much is up. Mike Triforce and I called a truce and he told me how to cheat law review, so I’ll probably end up doing it. Most of us 1Ls at TTTs are dead inside. I was trying to pick up this one girl, a nickel and change, and my game was good but she wasn’t feeling it. She was literally too depressed to drink and fuck. I ended up stealing her phone and when I went to her place to return it (I banged out her roommate awhile back) we ended up hooking up on the couch during A Bridget Jones marathon on TBS. I carried her to bed and in the morning I made her Nyquil waffles (again Triforce) and then banged her out again. I unplugged/turned off her clock, phone and computer and told her roommate she did not want to be disturbed and lied about sleeping with her despite the fact that it had been obvious. I’ll call her tomorrow.

Anyway so I get home and for some reason calculate my loans to date: $277,451. Wow. 300k is on the horizon. It would have been worth it if I had been tagging ass like I am now for the past 8 years. Everytime I have a night like last night I think about what a waste 7 years was at a state school not getting any. Oh well.
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