People, I look good. I was just looking at some pictures of myself from a 4th of July party.  I mean I look spectacular. Paparazzi would have to follow me for weeks just to even have a chance at a bad shot. You know who looks terrible though? These Bush era big oil attorneys testifying in front of Congress. They are wrinkly, pale, flabby and have the stink of deceit on them. Haven’t they ever heard of face men?

Then it hit me. That’s where my next job is – big oil. If defending rich individual murderers gets you paid then imagine how much bank is in defending industrial murderers? AAAnnnd you don’t have to spend years in the DAs office working for slave wages.

Read the rest of this entry →

Money.  It’s the answer to alot of questions.  Fat White Men make more money if they are conservative.  Blonde College Dropout Bartenders make more money if they act slutty.  I could have titled this post “Why Young White Male Lawyers Like Myself Routinely Turn in Fraudulent Timesheets” but then Benito would have gotten on my ass.  Alot of things lead to money though, for instance hard work. Yet, I couldn’t entitle this post “Why the Average American Works Hard.”  There is a difference between money and money.

Money in the first sense means “decadence.”  That money is for luxury cars, flat screen televisions, pre-furnished condos.  Money in the second sense means a first house, sending children to good schools, saving for retirement, etc. Maybe money isn’t the full answer.  Let’s try and answer the title questions again.

Read the rest of this entry →

[Original content temporarily suspended as a professional courteousy until the ethical investigation is complete. Older posts that failed to make the original cut will be rotated and substituted. If you have any questions, thoughts, concerns and most importantly if you need a copy of the ORIGINAL POST please contact nick@debtorsprison.com]

Ok, I might have said some things that were exagerations. I might have gotten carried away with this whole blogging thing. Being in debt is stressful but If I offended anyone well… Fill in the blank.

Read the rest of this entry →

[Original content temporarily suspended as a professional courteousy until the ethical investigation is complete. Older posts that failed to make the original cut will be rotated and substituted. If you have any questions, thoughts, concerns and most importantly if you need a copy of the ORIGINAL POST please contact nick@debtorsprison.com]

I know what being a partner is like.  I gave KF the relatively simple task of covering a post slot and he botches it. Everyone knows Bruce Lee was the hero of Enter the Dragon. For his transgression he must now where a dunce cap whenever blogging.  I apologize to all of Bruce Lee’s millions of fans around the world.

This also provides me an interesting opportunity to illustrate the difference between “hard work” for a winner (me and Bruce Lee) and hard work for a loser (you). Winners work hard when it matters.

Side note: Check out this loser response to a bad review http://abovethelaw.com/2010/02/in-house_counseling_dont_fall.php#more

Read the rest of this entry →

[Original content temporarily suspended as a professional courteousy until the ethical investigation is complete. Older posts that failed to make the original cut will be rotated and substituted. If you have any questions, thoughts, concerns and most importantly if you need a copy of the ORIGINAL POST please contact nick@debtorsprison.com]

I can still see the red lights on the dash. I can still feel the way it handled sharp turns. I remember the perfect control of a clutch-less manual transmission. I miss my BMW. Its not that I don’t love my Mustang…at least the Mustang was brand-spanking new off the lot. Still, the Princess looks at me different…and every time she does its emasculating, my perfect six-pack abs aside.

You would think though that I could still drive my old car in my dreams. But no. I get rudely awakened by a call at 8 AM…well maybe 830, 830ish, from my mom telling me my little sister has been defaulting on her student loans. She then has the audacity to ask me why I’m not at work and ask me for ten grand in the same sentence. What. The. FUCK!!!

Read the rest of this entry →