I wish I had three lives
Three lives equals two mistakes
Then I could win – or at least stumble through the first level

I wish I had an energy bar
Then I would know exactly
How much abuse I could take before the damage became irreversible

I wish I had an instruction manual
Then I would know friend from foe
Instead of constantly mistaking friends for enemies and vice versa

I wish I could hit restart
An extra life isn’t going to fix this
Because I have fucked up so bad that the slate needs to be wiped clean

I wish I could buy another game
I am not really feeling this one anymore
The main character is weak and lame and I can’t see putting in the effort to see how this ends

Ok, I’m sorry but I am too good for this. It felt good being “normal” after turning my back on the law (education wise then quitting my job as a paralegal) and doing normal shit like leaving a bar at 11 pm and having co-worker friends I neither love nor hate. But I just can’t work for Olla, my bitch manager with an Associate’s degree who is a year younger than me and has three kids (which we fucking talks about all the time like I give a damn the goofy looking titty parasite rolled over at three months).

I realized I hated her when I caught myself fantasizing about killing her during a presentation I was giving and my remarks deviated from reality to fantasy. Of course nobody noticed because nobody was fucking listening but that is neither here nor there.

Now there are many reasons I could hate her (did I mention the kid thing?) the lack of education, the amazing luck she’s had during her career, the condescending way she talks to subordinates (kind of like we are her children) the way she bitches when she’s at the office past 6 because she runs the risk of missing her kid’s bedtime and the way she owns a sporty little convertible that costs three times the amount of a mini-van yet complains that not all her kids fit in it. Oh and of course I could do her job much better than she can.
Read the rest of this entry →

Doctor beats Lawyer. I-banker beats Doctor…Lawyer beats I-banker. Wait! Here me out. What do the best I-bankers do? That’s right, white collar crime – Madoff! Madoff! And they either go to jail, or worse, chicken out with money still on the table, never knowing if they have the hottest chick, fastest car or biggest house money can buy. If you’re going to play the game like that please just go live in your mother’s basement and learn to make cucumber sandwiches and Sangria for your mother’s book club.

Ok so what about doctors? They’re chumps. I mean in theory being a doctor should be the highest paying job in the world because what’s more important than human life?

Ha! Human life. It takes doctors until they are well into their thirties to realize that we as a human society don’t value human life for shit. That’s why people in the third world die of shut we cured a hundred years ago while the best and brightest researchers are trying to figure how to regrow hair and prolong erections.

So we come to lawyers. Traditionally they are at the bottom of the professional pyramid…but when was the last time you saw a lawyer go to jail simply for knowingly and repeatedly breaking the law and then getting caught? I can’t think of one either, and as it turns out a of illegal activity is extremely profitable and easy.

Like with the great scam I can’t go into too much detail about the shit I have pulled but I can let you know enough to get some of you out there thinking of ways you too can be as cool and financially awesome as me.

Now in addition to being an attorney I am also an actor and musician. Actors and musicians have certain common attributes including being lazy and good looking. They also tend to commit crimes and know career criminals that is to say individuals who draw their lively hood from breaking the law.

There’s more to it than just drugs though that is number 1. Stolen and counterfeit merchandise is huge. Number 2 is the large, difficult to classify area of grifting and scams.
Read the rest of this entry →

So it turns out my boyfriend is rich. I figure I am about a dozen GOOD blow jobs away from getting that engagement ring too, and I am not ashamed to admit that now I will be rolling them out with a bit more frequency – particularly now that I can stop rooting through his trash.

Of course now that I’m about to be Mrs. Belmont I am sort of regretting my career choice. Being a doctor is kind of like being a barber after all except your patients usually don’t look noticeably better when they leave and when they die it’s usually your fault.

I should have gone into research. I should have fucking tried to cure something. Every individual patient dies eventually but once you cure a disease…well! Lives in the bank.
Read the rest of this entry →

In my last post I wrote that a lot was going on that might make it seem like on surface progress of some kind was being made.  Unfortunately this optimism doesn’t hold up to any kind of rigorous analysis.  It’s like if you’re trying to get somewhere and you don’t know where it is all the while you’re running out of gas.  So you stop.  After all, what’s the point of continuing driving when you have no gas and don’t know where you’re going?  So you send your passenger out to explore while you guard the car and after awhile they come back and say there is a gas station two miles up the road.  Great.  But you’ve still got pay for that gas, and you still don’t know where you are going.  That’s kind of like what is going on here.

What we have here, or essentially what we are witnessing, is the solidification of the student debt “scam” as just one of those those unjust facts of life.  Think of it as Republicans only protecting the interests of the rich or wanting to cut any sort of health care safety net.  Republicans have been the same in that respect for 40 years AND WE KNOW THIS.  They still get elected and raise money the same way.  Every now and then when something becomes OUTRAGEOUS there’s a small re-adjustment but nothing FUNDAMENTALLY changes.

There are several reasons for this.  Read on for the discussion

Read the rest of this entry →

So one of my closet KKK facebook friends recently started writing bullshit notes (because comments didn’t allow for enough space) and one of his first ones was a treatise on how to fix the country (or the Economy…I try not to read his garbage too carefully). Now, I’m a pretty arrogant guy, though not quite in Mike Triforce’s league. But even I wouldn’t write an unsolicited post like this one claiming that I can save the world because I am better than you. But I am. Because I’ll be damned if that Kentucky Fried Stars and Bars Good Ole Boy Saltine has the only word on this.

Ahem. Because everyone likes/only has the attention span for numbered list may I not so humbly offer: 1) social justice to include prison and drug reform 2) Adoption and 3) Inspiration

I have and will always say fuck the national debt. Never really considered it an issue so much so that if I have to take a dump and that’s the only reading material I’ll just take care of business like people probably did before civilization set in. However, you can’t argue some hard truths: We incarcerate an absurd percentage of our population, mostly for drug related offenses. If those people were working instead of costing the govt money, and the govt could tax a regulated market for marijuana and other drugs bye bye deficit, hello employment!

Adoption. Doesn’t it make you sick when some pompous asshole talks about how great his fucking parents are for basically just doing their fucking job? Does it ever occur to them that lots of parents did everything right and their kid still might not have been successful or that some people were successful despite coming from fucked up families? For shitssake people, you don’t parent because you are trying to raise the next President you parent because that is what you do. And not just for your own biological kids. Adopt people. I mean that both in the legal sense, as in get your ass to social services, and in the unofficial sense, as in observe your kids friends, acquaintances and kids you see in other situations. Do they look hungry, are they falling behind in school, do they need something? If they do that’s your responsibility. Get to work and take that fucking honor roll sticker off your newish car and don’t bitch about how you can’t afford it. It might also give your spoiled trifling children some perspective.

Finally inspiration. None of you will ever truly know what Obama’s election meant for this country or for the world. That’s because you lack the capacity to comprehend the significance of anything not directly related to your immediate self-interest. That’s not America. America acutely realized it’s unique existence despite the fact that life didn’t instantly and immediately change dramatically for colonists. This realization is a huge part of inspiration because at the end of the day America is the greatest country on earth in large part because it truly thinks it is.

So, a whole lot has happened.  So much in fact that it’s hard to decide exactly what to write about.  First there is this

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/17/business/law-school-economics-job-market-weakens-tuition-rises.html?_r=1

And if you’re here on this site you are aware of everything in the story linked to above.  What makes it newsworthy is that it’s in the New York Times.  I suppose I should be happy that one of the most widely read newspapers in the world has taken note of my specific plight.  But instead all I did was crack a beer.  Then I cracked another, and another and then I got REAL mad.  Is this how people who see parents murder their children all the time felt when the media found Casey Anthony? And now thanks to the NYT article…well, my life’s still over.  I’ve got this blog, I do my part to help the next generation.  All I am left with his emptiness.

But there’s more.  How about this

http://abovethelaw.com/2011/07/suing-law-schools-potpourri-tidings-from-law-schools-named-after-a-thomas/thomas-cooley-lawsuit-cl/

That’s right.  Kids like me are rising up and suing their law schools.  Read on to hear what I think about that.

Read the rest of this entry →

There are some great stories here.  I am also adding this to the blog roll.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/down-not-voices-long-term-unemployed-125453267.html

So mid-way through recreating the lost posts when my phone died for whatever reason I discovered KF Li and Icarus’ icons no longer show up for whatever reason.  Since we’ve had this weird glitch we’ve had Casey Anthony, a Skadden Associate die of a heart attack and a whole slew of other crap.

Please check out the political page as Simon’s Girlfriend has an interesting take on the Healthcare debate.

As always I remind you to go back and read some of our legacy posts.  Most are about the ongoing phenomenon of being a student debtor, not say, a specific event.

Also check out the media section. More stories and movies to follow, I promise!

Not sure if you can see my icon.  Obviously we are experiencing technical difficulties.  rest assured I’m KF Li.

Checking in. Just studying for the CA bar.  Currently the plan is to pass the CA bar (which if you recall doesn’t require a JD) and then in Feb sit for the NJ bar using my CA law license in lieu of a JD.  I figure the chances of both the CA and NJ folks showing borderline competence at the same time and thereby discovering my ruse are pretty slim.  Then yeah, hang out in law school while searching for that lottery client who can get me verdict I need to clear my debts, invest the remainder and live off the interest.  I have nothing by the way of infrastructure to actually litigate a case, so it’s going to have to be one heck of a demand letter.
Read the rest of this entry →