Even the great Mike Triforce has a learning curve. K Street is not South Street my friends. I can’t just drop the top on my ’stang and fill it with those who turn and smile when I slap their ass. Believe me I tried.

After striking out I was so desperate for ass I almost called the Princess and made her drive down from Philly. But then I know she would have insisted on staying the night. Then I’d wake up with fresh melon and “I love you” written in yogurt. What kind of skank calls that breakfast? Hint: Apply heat to protein. Batter+Butter = good.

All that changed when I got an assignment from the lobbying group and went to the Hill. I recognized a bro from my frat working in one some obscure Congressman’s office and he told me that here money is assumed, and it’s all about power based on your relationships with congressman and White House execs.
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We do two things here at Debtor’s Prison, warn folks about student debt and try and provide some distraction, comic relief. It may come as a shock that we also try and counsel people about getting OUT of the huge messes they find themselves in. While we are not going to delve into any of these steps in detail in this post you have options:
-Live rent free
-Eat free
-Maintain a cash-only existence
-Renegotiate private loans
-Apply for Federal Loan forgiveness
-Pay student debt with dischargeable debt
-Ask for assistance
- Sell Whatever you can find on the Internet
- Start a business that requires little capital that relies heavily on technology
- Do what orphans do

Here are some things that don’t work

-Lawsuits
-More education, additional degrees
-Not taking jobs that don’t require your highest degree
-Putting the loan on direct pay and forgetting about them
-Paying what you can when you can
-Fraud or other crimes

There is one thing you MUST do.  You must make and adhere to a plan whether its as simple as a strict budget or as drastic as going off the grid. Think of yourself as a soldier returning home from war only to find the life he knew is gone and the real battle is forging a new one.

So short stories didn’t quite take off like we were hoping before the whole “Occupy” thing, but we’re reviving it! Here is another fiction work from another young author, Dr. Luigi.

Ferhad Ammad was at his own wedding reception in the coat room with his pants still around his ankles.  If he took two steps to the left he would be able to see his virginal bride still on the dance floor doing a mix of the electric slide and a similar dance from the Old Country.  Beside him stood his mistress, Marissa Hilton, adjusting her dress and trying to erase the obvious signs of what just took place.

“I hope you can still perform tonight,” said Hilton.  “Of course, if she really is a virgin she won’t know the difference or she’ll blame herself.”

Ammad couldn’t believe what he had done.  He hadn’t been married for five hours and it had been less than 24 since he’d last been with Hilton.  He almost didn’t notice when Hilton handed him something which he hastily stuffed into his pocket.  Ammad proceeded to get very drunk that night and passed out immediately upon being alone with his bride, Lana Yousef.  So nervous was he about his deceit that he did not consummate his marriage until the last night of his honeymoon and by then his wife had a very noticeable complex about her desirability.

“I found this in your pocket when I was returning your tuxedo,” said Yousef.  “What is this?”

Ammad immediately recognized it as the piece of paper Hilton had given him.  It read:

I will require a monthly allowance of $2,500 plus all expenses related to visitation.  You will make yourself available on four dates of the year of my choosing with at least two week’s notice.  You will reserve a holiday of my choosing.  Reasonable accommodations can be made for your schedule at the hospital.  A first time fee of $5,000 will be charged for failure to meet any of the above and a $10,000 fee after that. Interest is compiled monthly at 11%.

MH

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Empty Homes
Homeless People
My large house is worth more

Employees literally worked to death
Millions 99 weeks unemployed
My job is more prestigious

Empty bellies
Rotting food in landfills- rotting meat in obese colons
My restaurant is exclusive – my industry has a lobby

Couples pay thousands to conceive and picket clinics
The orphan go unadopted
My kid got into college

Empty Lives
Endless Service Opportunities
Look At All My Stuff

Mikey’s back. Tell a friend! It’s good to be back. Back in an elite law firm and back to my old fighting weight.

Where did I go? To fat town ladies and gentlemen. Let me  explain. Remember however long it was ago that KF Li said he had dirt on me? Well, the dirt was I was faking a bipolar disorder to get worker’s comp and avoid getting laid off. Though the little pricklet never squealed I couldn’t take that chance SO I took a page from Homer Simpson’s book and started to gain massive amounts of weight. This was done not only to create a disability in it’s own right but to reinforce my contention that I indeed was funny in my head.

Now I know the women reading this are weeping. How could such a gorgeous specimen of the male ideal let himself go? That would be like spitting in the face of the Creator. But dear ladies I ask you this: should I have to work?
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There are three ways to deal with student loans: 1) pay them with “your” money 2) pay them with new debt dischargeable in bankruptcy or 3) don’t pay them. In order to not pay debt you must transfer your life to a credit free existence.  This is not as hard as it sounds.

First the bad news: you won’t be able to buy a house OR RENT a place from someone you don’t know. A new car will never happen. Every imaginable context for spending money socially will be more difficult/awkward.
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Now that I’ve gotten the hang of being an “Occupier” it is time to get back to the business of giving advice to people who are heavily burdened by student debt and are under or completely unemployed. There are a couple of things I’ve learned recently that I’ve liked to share 1) make sure you’re not an EOA and 2) figure what happened to you and why the social safety net missed you.

An EOA is an “Equal Outcome Advocate.”  You went to a better school, got a fancier degree and have more debt than your buddy from junior high so he should work for you not the other way around right? I mean why should HE be driving the new Camaro (convertible, sunset orange, nice) while you are still rolling in your mom’s 1990 Green Corolla? Yeah, don’t be that guy.  I mean you can, but don’t publicly be that guy because it detracts from the rest of the movement.  You sir, have simply experienced bad luck, while your friend has experienced good luck.  Statistics tell us that if you continue to work hard that gap will shrink or even turn around in your favor.

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Greetings all.  For those of you who follow this blog you know we’ve been quiet for awhile.  For the two most prolific writers, myself and Alpha Man, it’s because we’ve been occupying (or toying with the idea).  For the rest of us life happened.  Also at some point things get repetitive. Triforce lies, cheats and seduces sluts.  Samus has a cubicle job.  Icarus is depressed. Simon’s Girlfriend finally got swallowed up by the practice of medicine.

I for one am trying to make the transition to writer with the help of Professional Query Literary Services

www.firstbookdeal.blogspot.com.

And I need your help.  Any suggestions on how to turn this hodgepodge of posts into some kind of actual book? Trying to become a writer yourself? Help me out.

Also don’t forget to follow me on twitter. PQLS is on there too.  Check my followers.

Recently Benito singled me out as not having written anything in a while. Of course I am actually interviewing people for a post good enough to sit on the blog for a solid 3 months which it seems is par for the course now that everyone is “occupying” or similarly indisposed. Oh wait, that’s just Benito. I’d love to hear everyone else’s excuse. But rather than rush my article or take Benito’s jab lying down I thought I’d comment on a recent ATL post about the Cardozo kid who was “homeless” for 9 weeks.

I am not going to rehash the obvious which is that this stupid kid wasn’t homeless in any real sense of the word. What I am going to say is that what he did is not only easy, but when taken in conjunction with M.I.T.’s new program could also be a part of the new future we are looking at.

Here me out.
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It takes a lot to get one of us to write these days.  Alpha Man promised me a simple explanation of the crux of the Occupy Movement’s issues and he has yet to deliver.  Me, I am content for the time being just to be part of something.  Looking for an answer beats looking for a job. Probably because unlike a job, I know the truth exists.

However I had to tell you guys about this: M.I.T. is providing free, online education that now comes with a certified credential that exhibits mastery of the material. I am including the link below

http://www.forbes.com/sites/jamesmarshallcrotty/2011/12/21/m-i-t-game-changer-free-online-education-for-all/

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