The point is to change our culture. Because after countless articles in real newspapers nobody cares who isn’t directly affected. Here is the thing most people don’t care about other people’s problems. I mean if we’re honest with ourselves we don’t REALLY even care about stuff we pretend to like veterans, children and animals. So we have quite a job on our hands.

First I mean did people ever care? I mean REALLY care? Yes. Once upon a time. Back in the day, during the Depression, when a family in the neighborhood got evicted the neighbors would break the locks on the old house and carry their furniture and other belongings back in. A lot of times the family got to stay in their homes.

Unfortunately as a (former) lawyer I know that possession is 9 tenths of the law. I also know my non-existent friends can’t help me take back my life because it’s not a physical house it’s an “education.”

Ok, so what would an equivalent story be? How about this – imagine if a determined group of individuals, some student debtors and others not literally occupied the schools and disrupted classes until the schools paid off the debt?

Yes, pay it off. They can’t forgive it because the lending institutions hold it and if we went there we would be arrested or shot.

Yeah. We are a long way away. Perhaps we are not even closer.

Ok, I’m sorry but I am too good for this. It felt good being “normal” after turning my back on the law (education wise then quitting my job as a paralegal) and doing normal shit like leaving a bar at 11 pm and having co-worker friends I neither love nor hate. But I just can’t work for Olla, my bitch manager with an Associate’s degree who is a year younger than me and has three kids (which we fucking talks about all the time like I give a damn the goofy looking titty parasite rolled over at three months).

I realized I hated her when I caught myself fantasizing about killing her during a presentation I was giving and my remarks deviated from reality to fantasy. Of course nobody noticed because nobody was fucking listening but that is neither here nor there.

Now there are many reasons I could hate her (did I mention the kid thing?) the lack of education, the amazing luck she’s had during her career, the condescending way she talks to subordinates (kind of like we are her children) the way she bitches when she’s at the office past 6 because she runs the risk of missing her kid’s bedtime and the way she owns a sporty little convertible that costs three times the amount of a mini-van yet complains that not all her kids fit in it. Oh and of course I could do her job much better than she can.
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Doctor beats Lawyer. I-banker beats Doctor…Lawyer beats I-banker. Wait! Here me out. What do the best I-bankers do? That’s right, white collar crime – Madoff! Madoff! And they either go to jail, or worse, chicken out with money still on the table, never knowing if they have the hottest chick, fastest car or biggest house money can buy. If you’re going to play the game like that please just go live in your mother’s basement and learn to make cucumber sandwiches and Sangria for your mother’s book club.

Ok so what about doctors? They’re chumps. I mean in theory being a doctor should be the highest paying job in the world because what’s more important than human life?

Ha! Human life. It takes doctors until they are well into their thirties to realize that we as a human society don’t value human life for shit. That’s why people in the third world die of shut we cured a hundred years ago while the best and brightest researchers are trying to figure how to regrow hair and prolong erections.

So we come to lawyers. Traditionally they are at the bottom of the professional pyramid…but when was the last time you saw a lawyer go to jail simply for knowingly and repeatedly breaking the law and then getting caught? I can’t think of one either, and as it turns out a of illegal activity is extremely profitable and easy.

Like with the great scam I can’t go into too much detail about the shit I have pulled but I can let you know enough to get some of you out there thinking of ways you too can be as cool and financially awesome as me.

Now in addition to being an attorney I am also an actor and musician. Actors and musicians have certain common attributes including being lazy and good looking. They also tend to commit crimes and know career criminals that is to say individuals who draw their lively hood from breaking the law.

There’s more to it than just drugs though that is number 1. Stolen and counterfeit merchandise is huge. Number 2 is the large, difficult to classify area of grifting and scams.
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So it turns out my boyfriend is rich. I figure I am about a dozen GOOD blow jobs away from getting that engagement ring too, and I am not ashamed to admit that now I will be rolling them out with a bit more frequency – particularly now that I can stop rooting through his trash.

Of course now that I’m about to be Mrs. Belmont I am sort of regretting my career choice. Being a doctor is kind of like being a barber after all except your patients usually don’t look noticeably better when they leave and when they die it’s usually your fault.

I should have gone into research. I should have fucking tried to cure something. Every individual patient dies eventually but once you cure a disease…well! Lives in the bank.
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So one of my closet KKK facebook friends recently started writing bullshit notes (because comments didn’t allow for enough space) and one of his first ones was a treatise on how to fix the country (or the Economy…I try not to read his garbage too carefully). Now, I’m a pretty arrogant guy, though not quite in Mike Triforce’s league. But even I wouldn’t write an unsolicited post like this one claiming that I can save the world because I am better than you. But I am. Because I’ll be damned if that Kentucky Fried Stars and Bars Good Ole Boy Saltine has the only word on this.

Ahem. Because everyone likes/only has the attention span for numbered list may I not so humbly offer: 1) social justice to include prison and drug reform 2) Adoption and 3) Inspiration

I have and will always say fuck the national debt. Never really considered it an issue so much so that if I have to take a dump and that’s the only reading material I’ll just take care of business like people probably did before civilization set in. However, you can’t argue some hard truths: We incarcerate an absurd percentage of our population, mostly for drug related offenses. If those people were working instead of costing the govt money, and the govt could tax a regulated market for marijuana and other drugs bye bye deficit, hello employment!

Adoption. Doesn’t it make you sick when some pompous asshole talks about how great his fucking parents are for basically just doing their fucking job? Does it ever occur to them that lots of parents did everything right and their kid still might not have been successful or that some people were successful despite coming from fucked up families? For shitssake people, you don’t parent because you are trying to raise the next President you parent because that is what you do. And not just for your own biological kids. Adopt people. I mean that both in the legal sense, as in get your ass to social services, and in the unofficial sense, as in observe your kids friends, acquaintances and kids you see in other situations. Do they look hungry, are they falling behind in school, do they need something? If they do that’s your responsibility. Get to work and take that fucking honor roll sticker off your newish car and don’t bitch about how you can’t afford it. It might also give your spoiled trifling children some perspective.

Finally inspiration. None of you will ever truly know what Obama’s election meant for this country or for the world. That’s because you lack the capacity to comprehend the significance of anything not directly related to your immediate self-interest. That’s not America. America acutely realized it’s unique existence despite the fact that life didn’t instantly and immediately change dramatically for colonists. This realization is a huge part of inspiration because at the end of the day America is the greatest country on earth in large part because it truly thinks it is.

Yep.  Even at this late date I could give a shit.  So the Republicans/Conservatives/Tea Partiers/People of hereditary privilege have found yet another way to trip up this President.  But what have we REALLY learned about the National Debt? Throughout this entire non-newsworthy debacle?

1) Congress has always overwhelming voted to raise the debt ceiling.

Why? Because it’s necessary.  Why aren’t they doing it now?  Let’s see…what major thing about Washington, the White House specifically, is different? No, it’s not that it’s a black President, there is just something magical about the number $14 trillion.  That’s just the natural limit for a country’s indebtedness.

2) Rich People are gonna get their money

Get real people.  There isn’t going to be any kind of default.  This is coming out of social security checks for old people and paychecks for our nation’s servicemen.

3) White people love money more than they love feeling superior because they are white

White people have had this choice before.  At the end of the Civil War rich white people could have devoted some of their slaves to the Confederate War effort and possibly saved their racial hierarchy.  But they decided overwhelmingly not to do this.  Robert E. Lee who popular legend would have you believe abhorred slavery, fought his father in-law’s will freeing his slaves because…he wanted money.  And he wanted to lead the Confederate forces because he thought his military career would advance quicker as the George Washington figure of a new country.

All that is to say that white people who make above X amount a year ALWAYS act in their self-interest.  Maybe that is true of all people who make above slave wages, as I have never heard of an Arabian Prince actually committing rather than just simply planning a suicide bombing.

Ugh.  I am tired of writing about this.  It took me 20 damn minutes to figure out how to load the icon that is my signature.  I just wanted to be on the record in late July saying I still don’t care one bit about the National Debt.  It’s a non-issue, like a runny noise is a non-disease.  I don’t care if you can’t find a tissue, or need a tissue for your runny damn nose while I’m sitting in the corner bleeding out.

There are some great stories here.  I am also adding this to the blog roll.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/down-not-voices-long-term-unemployed-125453267.html

Sorry for the long delay.
Here is the link until I can post this properly

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/11412507

Ugh.  Why Benito? Why would you save our posts and write yours on your phone?  Is this to punish me for not giving you my old laptop when yours broke? Of course this happens when I send you a post that literally solves the healthcare crisis in our nation.

I was inspired by a pompous windbag who saw my Obama ‘08 sticker (but apparently  not my PENN Medical decal) and decided to lecture me on the pitfalls of Obama’s healthcare platform.  During the rant he recounted everything a doctor has to go through and concluded that he “had no problem with doctor’s salaries.” Thanks, because you know, if it wasn’t ok with you I’d be sending some of that money back.

Part of the answer is easy.  Obama plan (including individual mandate) + public option. Nothing was funnier than hearing this fool rail on about people who use emergency rooms as family practices leaving the rest of us to pay while simultaneously condemning the individual mandate. Idiot.

The next part has to do with the training of doctors.  Basically there are not enough of us and it takes too long. Well, let’s let common sense take a crack at this one.  First we create more doctors by creating more medical schools.  These would be public works, the type that create jobs (but really, whose trying to do that in this economy).  Trust me, the demand on the student side is there.  Second you make a medical education free IF you stop at the primary care level.  If you specialize (which now most doctors do because it’s the only way to pay back the loans they’ve already acquired) then the gift becomes a debt and you pay your way from there.
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Ok. Because all of your are too lazy to click on the other categories available on this site, throughout the summer I am going to highlight past posts of note.  This is also a good time to search the blog by author, checkout the media section or just pick a random month before you discovered this site and see what everyone was up to.

Specifically I would recommend:

Tales of an Unpublished Author – Our mini series from last summer.  I must read for aspiring authors.

Mike Triforce Says Go to Law School and Get Paid – Our debut (and so far only) xtranormal movie.

The Roommate – Our debut (and again so far only) short story.

Enjoy your summer everyone.  The Job Applications will be there after Labor Day.