Recently Benito singled me out as not having written anything in a while. Of course I am actually interviewing people for a post good enough to sit on the blog for a solid 3 months which it seems is par for the course now that everyone is “occupying” or similarly indisposed. Oh wait, that’s just Benito. I’d love to hear everyone else’s excuse. But rather than rush my article or take Benito’s jab lying down I thought I’d comment on a recent ATL post about the Cardozo kid who was “homeless” for 9 weeks.

I am not going to rehash the obvious which is that this stupid kid wasn’t homeless in any real sense of the word. What I am going to say is that what he did is not only easy, but when taken in conjunction with M.I.T.’s new program could also be a part of the new future we are looking at.

Here me out.
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I spent the best Thanksgiving I’ve had in ages with the Occupiers.  People were very generous with food and I even had a few friends stop by.  Best of all there was no judgment and that suffocating feeling of failure that permeates your being as you feel all eyes around the table judging you each time you dip your eyes to the delicious meal before which suddenly you have no appetite for, even though you fasted for days in preparation.

I know posts have been light, virtually non-existent, but I think its important to be a part of what is actually happening in the streets all across the country.  As far as the blog goes, I am keeping the domain and PROMISE to check in more often to approve comments.  I am also opening this space to guest writers. Also remember, there are hundreds of posts here, and each one is part of the story of why we’re all out here. I’ve reviewed some old entries and 95% are just as relevant now as whenever they were written over the last two years.

So read the Ghost of Entries Past if you want to understand, or if you want assurance that you’re not alone.

…And I have been trying to resist the urge to write about it.  Part of it is because everyone with ten minutes worth of charge on their I-Phone here is blogging about it, and part of it is because of embarrassingly low page hits…I suppose together that would constitute most of it.  But there is another reason too.  I want to “experience” something.

I spent most of my life through school with distance, time, paper and a host of other obstacles between me and experiencing the reality where I spent my life.  Then I experienced something-losing my job and being unable to pay my student loans which in all honesty was hard enough even with a six-figure salary.  After that experience I spent the rest of my life up until now trying to write about that experience, particularly on this blog.  Whereas before I was reaching out to an intriguing reality that would always be behind a veil of secrets, now I am holding on to a painful reality kept fresh by picking scabs…all the while I miss the world around me.

Well no more.  Or at least not for awhile.  You can’t live in the moment and capture it for posterity at the same time.  Besides, posterity is always colored by ultimate outcome.  Right now I have no idea what that will be.  Or when I will start writing again more regularly.

I normally don’t participate in discourse of this sort unless there is an immediate and tangible benefit like taking an attractive young coed to bed. I need to work on my conservative asshole shpiel because I had a misfire with a girl I chose because I didn’t have the energy to compete for her more attractive cousin. In reality I just don’t care.

Ok, I make no secret of the fact that if I want something I get it. Alcohol, cars, electronics, travel, premium housing, the latest trends and newest sports equipment…only the best for yours truly, and I have a crushing debt load. I also make no secret of the fact that paying my loans is my absolute lowest priority. I have told stories about gambling with my loan balance for a month just to prove a point. That point is paying my loans is like letting the Princess sleep in the bed after I have defiled her (if she is indeed still capable of being defiled) just because I usually do it doesn’t mean I have to and I am the one in control.

So if my loans magically evaporated I wouldn’t necessarily spend more money. I might, over time, carry a lower credit card balance. Eh.
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Ugh. I feel like I am the only person who still posts around here. That is one of the problems with a blog like this – everyone thinks someone else will pick up the slack. But on to the point at hand.

When you’re black one of the difficult things about dealing with non-black people (Asians, South Asians and “mixed” people are also notorious for this) is figuring out which ones are sheltered/ignorant/slow and which ones purposefully propagate falsehoods in order to serve their own self-interest.

Take the Internet meme where the black woman thinks she doesn’t have to pay her mortgage because Obama is President. The first non-black thinks this is a representation of a large percentage of blacks. The second circulates it to perpetuate that type of nonsense and add to the plethora of material non-black children are exposed to in order to condition them to think that black = inferior. After all, the schools have been almost desegregated for almost a generation now and look who is in the White House?

But I digress. Drum roll please…the reason black unemployment is still so high is discrimination. Yes! Believe it or not folks holding all other factors from education to industry constant there is a much higher unemployment index for blacks and it’s discrimination.

But Alpha Man, shouldn’t a black President help, just a little?
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The point is to change our culture. Because after countless articles in real newspapers nobody cares who isn’t directly affected. Here is the thing most people don’t care about other people’s problems. I mean if we’re honest with ourselves we don’t REALLY even care about stuff we pretend to like veterans, children and animals. So we have quite a job on our hands.

First I mean did people ever care? I mean REALLY care? Yes. Once upon a time. Back in the day, during the Depression, when a family in the neighborhood got evicted the neighbors would break the locks on the old house and carry their furniture and other belongings back in. A lot of times the family got to stay in their homes.

Unfortunately as a (former) lawyer I know that possession is 9 tenths of the law. I also know my non-existent friends can’t help me take back my life because it’s not a physical house it’s an “education.”

Ok, so what would an equivalent story be? How about this – imagine if a determined group of individuals, some student debtors and others not literally occupied the schools and disrupted classes until the schools paid off the debt?

Yes, pay it off. They can’t forgive it because the lending institutions hold it and if we went there we would be arrested or shot.

Yeah. We are a long way away. Perhaps we are not even closer.

Ok, I’m sorry but I am too good for this. It felt good being “normal” after turning my back on the law (education wise then quitting my job as a paralegal) and doing normal shit like leaving a bar at 11 pm and having co-worker friends I neither love nor hate. But I just can’t work for Olla, my bitch manager with an Associate’s degree who is a year younger than me and has three kids (which we fucking talks about all the time like I give a damn the goofy looking titty parasite rolled over at three months).

I realized I hated her when I caught myself fantasizing about killing her during a presentation I was giving and my remarks deviated from reality to fantasy. Of course nobody noticed because nobody was fucking listening but that is neither here nor there.

Now there are many reasons I could hate her (did I mention the kid thing?) the lack of education, the amazing luck she’s had during her career, the condescending way she talks to subordinates (kind of like we are her children) the way she bitches when she’s at the office past 6 because she runs the risk of missing her kid’s bedtime and the way she owns a sporty little convertible that costs three times the amount of a mini-van yet complains that not all her kids fit in it. Oh and of course I could do her job much better than she can.
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Doctor beats Lawyer. I-banker beats Doctor…Lawyer beats I-banker. Wait! Here me out. What do the best I-bankers do? That’s right, white collar crime – Madoff! Madoff! And they either go to jail, or worse, chicken out with money still on the table, never knowing if they have the hottest chick, fastest car or biggest house money can buy. If you’re going to play the game like that please just go live in your mother’s basement and learn to make cucumber sandwiches and Sangria for your mother’s book club.

Ok so what about doctors? They’re chumps. I mean in theory being a doctor should be the highest paying job in the world because what’s more important than human life?

Ha! Human life. It takes doctors until they are well into their thirties to realize that we as a human society don’t value human life for shit. That’s why people in the third world die of shut we cured a hundred years ago while the best and brightest researchers are trying to figure how to regrow hair and prolong erections.

So we come to lawyers. Traditionally they are at the bottom of the professional pyramid…but when was the last time you saw a lawyer go to jail simply for knowingly and repeatedly breaking the law and then getting caught? I can’t think of one either, and as it turns out a of illegal activity is extremely profitable and easy.

Like with the great scam I can’t go into too much detail about the shit I have pulled but I can let you know enough to get some of you out there thinking of ways you too can be as cool and financially awesome as me.

Now in addition to being an attorney I am also an actor and musician. Actors and musicians have certain common attributes including being lazy and good looking. They also tend to commit crimes and know career criminals that is to say individuals who draw their lively hood from breaking the law.

There’s more to it than just drugs though that is number 1. Stolen and counterfeit merchandise is huge. Number 2 is the large, difficult to classify area of grifting and scams.
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So it turns out my boyfriend is rich. I figure I am about a dozen GOOD blow jobs away from getting that engagement ring too, and I am not ashamed to admit that now I will be rolling them out with a bit more frequency – particularly now that I can stop rooting through his trash.

Of course now that I’m about to be Mrs. Belmont I am sort of regretting my career choice. Being a doctor is kind of like being a barber after all except your patients usually don’t look noticeably better when they leave and when they die it’s usually your fault.

I should have gone into research. I should have fucking tried to cure something. Every individual patient dies eventually but once you cure a disease…well! Lives in the bank.
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So one of my closet KKK facebook friends recently started writing bullshit notes (because comments didn’t allow for enough space) and one of his first ones was a treatise on how to fix the country (or the Economy…I try not to read his garbage too carefully). Now, I’m a pretty arrogant guy, though not quite in Mike Triforce’s league. But even I wouldn’t write an unsolicited post like this one claiming that I can save the world because I am better than you. But I am. Because I’ll be damned if that Kentucky Fried Stars and Bars Good Ole Boy Saltine has the only word on this.

Ahem. Because everyone likes/only has the attention span for numbered list may I not so humbly offer: 1) social justice to include prison and drug reform 2) Adoption and 3) Inspiration

I have and will always say fuck the national debt. Never really considered it an issue so much so that if I have to take a dump and that’s the only reading material I’ll just take care of business like people probably did before civilization set in. However, you can’t argue some hard truths: We incarcerate an absurd percentage of our population, mostly for drug related offenses. If those people were working instead of costing the govt money, and the govt could tax a regulated market for marijuana and other drugs bye bye deficit, hello employment!

Adoption. Doesn’t it make you sick when some pompous asshole talks about how great his fucking parents are for basically just doing their fucking job? Does it ever occur to them that lots of parents did everything right and their kid still might not have been successful or that some people were successful despite coming from fucked up families? For shitssake people, you don’t parent because you are trying to raise the next President you parent because that is what you do. And not just for your own biological kids. Adopt people. I mean that both in the legal sense, as in get your ass to social services, and in the unofficial sense, as in observe your kids friends, acquaintances and kids you see in other situations. Do they look hungry, are they falling behind in school, do they need something? If they do that’s your responsibility. Get to work and take that fucking honor roll sticker off your newish car and don’t bitch about how you can’t afford it. It might also give your spoiled trifling children some perspective.

Finally inspiration. None of you will ever truly know what Obama’s election meant for this country or for the world. That’s because you lack the capacity to comprehend the significance of anything not directly related to your immediate self-interest. That’s not America. America acutely realized it’s unique existence despite the fact that life didn’t instantly and immediately change dramatically for colonists. This realization is a huge part of inspiration because at the end of the day America is the greatest country on earth in large part because it truly thinks it is.