I am glad Mike Triforce didn’t go to law school five years later, because if he did he would have what I have in my possession: a student loan debit card.  That’s right, in between my student ID and Visa, I have a student loan debit card just in time for Oktoberfest.  You can’t make this stuff up.

So here’s what first came to mind. WWMT.  What Would Mike Triforce Do?  Well, obviously he would steal them.  Imagine how easy these cards would be to steal, and how many cards/accounts could be stolen WITHOUT A STUDENT EVER EVEN KNOWING.  I mean if the card gets stolen who foots the bill?  Keep in mind, the card is linked to the same indebtedness that does not afford you bankruptcy protection. 

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I know Mike Triforce doesn’t really go to work ever but I couldn’t help but notice that he spent all day yesterday commenting on ATL, instructing random commenters on everything from how to get a hand job in public to how to cheat on the LSAT. I was somewhat flattered to be honest- obviously Mike Triforce needs a new receptacle for the bullshit he generates on a daily basis. But I need to address the cheating thing.

But first a law school update. It’s going great! This is the best part of first year. It’s way too early to be concerned with outlining but most of the initial fear has worn off. Everyone has been called on and life is just one endless giant mug of beer.

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 am a god here.  No seriously. I am a get-down-on-your-knees seek my favor or fear my wrath god of the old world. And I demand sacrifice. Here are my law school commandments:

1) Remove your name from the seating chart in every class.

They can’t use the Socratic on you if you have no name on their precious, precious seating chart.

2) Get a mod job done on your student ID

My student ID has unlimited access and unlimited funds. An undergrad did this for $200 and Ive already spent at least a grand.

3) Go to each class only once a week

If you’ve ever read a legal blog you know nobody teaches you shit in law school. You need to seem like a rebel by skipping class but you also need to avoid the slacker label. Once a week for any given class works. No more and no less.

4) Go Out Every Night

Especially Sunday. Law School is a crapshoot. Most will fail and some will succeed beyond anyone’s wildest dreams. You want to have a few beers with the latter and the only way to do that is to have a few beers with everyone. Specifically be cool with the Jews, women, Asians and I guess given Obama…

5) Never read

Cases that is. I mean how can you read when you’re going out every night and why would you read when you can’t ever be called on? Rely on commercial outlines and articles written by your professors even if those articles have little to do with the 1L course they are teaching. Ass kissing > accuracy any day of the week.

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I’m coming off the best summer I’ve had since the one before college. Finally my life has direction again. I feel like the rich kid who joins the army in defiance of the father turning his back on the family shipping business or whatever. Now that everyone is saying don’t go to lawschool it is the sexy rebel’s choice again.

I have borrowed so much money it’s criminal.  My bank account looks better than it ever has. I routinely spend more at coffee shops in a day than I used to spend on food in a week.

I love how I am treated.  Here’s a tip kids: nobody cares what you’ve done it’s all about what people think you are going to do. I’d rather be a high schooler with No. 1 potential in basketball or football than be a lameduck President. Conventional wisdom is still that my classmates and I are collectively doomed, but me personally? I could be making $200k in NY in three years and everyone from baristas to bartenders seem to know it.

But there’s also more. I studied that chart Alpha Man posted. It’s all over the net. I’ve read comments here and on other sites and suddenly I realized what Triforce was referring to – the scam he pulled that he won’t write about. Touché Triforce, I know you pretty well and I wouldn’t have thought even your miniature effiminate poodle-looking dog would have stooped that low. You looking for a job Triforce? In five years you could be working for me.

As I prepare for the start of class in a few weeks and take a much needed break from my ongoing feud with Mike Triforce I would like to, hopefully for the last time, explain why I am borrowing excessive amounts to go to what is commonly referred to as a TTT law school, particularly after taking 7 years and over $100k to complete my undergraduate education and writing for a blog called “Debtor’s Prison.”  After all, isn’t the point of “Debtor’s Prison” that borrowing large amounts of money for a fancy degree, particularly a law degree is foolhardy?  I would argue no, and here is why.
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Alpha Man here. I gave KF Li the by-line to piss off Triforce. Before I hand the Mike over, no pun intended, I just wanted to say that I can’t speak to your current employment situation or your relationship but I can definitely say your ass is fat and your pants are way too small. Your fat does not look like muscle and nobody mistakes you for a weightlifter. You told the truth about your passive racism and I am telling the truth about this.

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Yes I am a 0L.  But isn’t the practice of law all about talking a good game about stuff you know little or nothing about?  I am also a writer, a journalist – and I have spent countless hours with my subject, Mr. Michael Triforce, Esquire.  So listen up, I know what I’m talking about.

#7 Audacity.  If you have followed the first six rules and have had a little luck you should be on easy street. However, that can be dangerous.  We’ve been taught our whole lives that there is no free lunch.  We’re taught to be suspicious of things that are too good to be true.  It’s like in the Matrix – the human mind rejects the utopia.  Do not do that.  STICK to the routine you have established…and because stassis is impossible you need to PUSH that routine just to make sure you don’t start hanging around the office more than is necessary and end up having to work.

Read on for the next two rules

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I am like a Gazelle crossing the river who has just been told there are more crocodiles in the river than ever before.  I run full speed towards the water because I know there is alot of green (and females) on the other side.  But when I get to the banks I take a hard turn and wait for the others to dive in so I can see the crocodiles snap so I know where they are.  I don’t slow down when those on my left and right fall – I know there is blood in the water.  When I make it to the other side I rejoice in the fallen because there is more grass (and females) for me.

Bet you thought this was an Icarus 30 post didn’t you?  Ha! No it’s your man KF Li.  Here are more tips from the titan of timesheets, the founding father of fraud, the liar’s liar…Mr. Michael Triforce, on how to get that check and avoid the ax at a law firm including why you should never rationalize your actions, how to play mind games with your fellow associates, how to keep your office and your person so you look like you’re billing what you say you’re billing.

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Whoever tells you not to go to law school, don’t listen to them.  I’m not even there yet and already I am having a blast.  Spent a few weeks in NAPA learning about wine so I have something to talk about with the kids that matter – actually got an uncle to pay for it who was, get this, glad I was finally applying myself.  Awesome.  That freed up some cash to wine and dine Mike Triforce, who I suspect is strapped for cash for some reason.  The following are some of his rules for padding hours.  We are learning from a (former?) Master here fellas.  I question him because if you follow this blog you know he hasn’t been the same since his hiatus.  He blames Benito, but when has Triforce ever cared about what Benito thought before?  He knows Benito RARELY doesn’t approve an article…

But anyway.  Go to law school.  It is the only profession where you have a statistically measurable chance of landing a job that pays 160k or more for doing the following.  Secrets are after the fold people.

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So this is late and I apologize.  I am trying something different here.  Mike Triforce is still my hero, but I am going to stray a little bit and try and actually answer Benito’s question, which was simply…why?  Alpha Man clarified.  “Why, with everything you’ve been exposed to as part of this blog, would you borrow more money and go to law school, particularly a third tier law school?”  The Mike Triforce answer is easy.  I am going to make it, despite how many people have failed, and I want the BMW driving, bottles and models, JD-Just DOllaZ lifestyle.  Please don’t get me wrong I do.  But if I am really honest that’s not it, that’s not even 50% of it.  The reason I applied to law school and plan on attending is because of the way it makes me feel.

Please read on as I try to explain what I am experiencing, and how I believe that translates into the “average” undergrad or young person.

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