Not sure if you can see my icon.  Obviously we are experiencing technical difficulties.  rest assured I’m KF Li.

Checking in. Just studying for the CA bar.  Currently the plan is to pass the CA bar (which if you recall doesn’t require a JD) and then in Feb sit for the NJ bar using my CA law license in lieu of a JD.  I figure the chances of both the CA and NJ folks showing borderline competence at the same time and thereby discovering my ruse are pretty slim.  Then yeah, hang out in law school while searching for that lottery client who can get me verdict I need to clear my debts, invest the remainder and live off the interest.  I have nothing by the way of infrastructure to actually litigate a case, so it’s going to have to be one heck of a demand letter.
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The year too. And I have to tell you, morale is at an all time low. Except for me. I am having a good time, a much better time than I had in college, and it certainly beats my mother’s couch. I spend money like the Federal Government – I just raise my debt ceiling. The only real decisions I have to make is 1) whether to transfer to a better law school and 2) should I stop sleeping with classmates and undergrads and learn how to approach real women. Mike Triforce is in favor of both.

First let’s talk transfer. I got a lousy LSAT score and it took me seven years to graduate from college which I eventually did with a very mediocre GPA. Listening to Triforce I am officially 3rd in my class, and if a certain someone should lose her battle with bulemia and another drops out due to (my) alleged honor code violations I could be first. But I didn’t stay in college 7 years because I embrace change.

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Hello, my name is KF Li.  I am Asian and I didnt go to Harvard or Yale.  I did trade losing my virginity at a reasonable age for years of music study designed to impress people that no longer exist.  My mother’s weather-beaten soul bears many callouses of shame.  It is impossible for me to view this “Tiger Mother/Cub” phenomenon with anything remotely passing for objectivity.  But I’m the only Asian on the blog.

I suppose I should congratulate Sophia on her admittance.  It’s not every day a wealthy legacy student gets admitted to Harvard or Yale.  After all, those letters only come out in April, and to a lesser extent in December.  I would also like to congratulate Bristol Palin for being admitted to Bastard Factory U.  But returning to Sophia, I feel sorry for her.  Sadly, the time between highschool and college will be the best of her life – sit back and bask in the kudos and for the first time the very conditional love of your parents. Soon the pressure will begin all over again in college, then again in grad school, then again as the job AND if you do find time to mate from the very beginning with your own children then grandchildren inevitably dying the day before your grandchild is re-elected becoming the first Asian two-term President of the United States. 

So enjoy that and the abortion in Mexico because at 29 you still don’t know how to put a condom on a schlong and then got too busy to notice you were pregnant until it was too late to handle your business stateside. 

My advice to you Sophia would be to remember that most people who look like us die illiterate in the rice fields of poverty, just like every other race (except maybe white people – no wait, yes white people too, I forgot about Russia and the American South). Finally, to answer your question, like everyone else in my generation I just figure you’re like that character in the Joy Luck Club. The one who mortifies everyone by dating a white guy…or not getting pregnant by the 11 year-old…or the chess player.  Also, don’t think your biracialness or Obama means you can go dating a black guy.

Not much is up. Mike Triforce and I called a truce and he told me how to cheat law review, so I’ll probably end up doing it. Most of us 1Ls at TTTs are dead inside. I was trying to pick up this one girl, a nickel and change, and my game was good but she wasn’t feeling it. She was literally too depressed to drink and fuck. I ended up stealing her phone and when I went to her place to return it (I banged out her roommate awhile back) we ended up hooking up on the couch during A Bridget Jones marathon on TBS. I carried her to bed and in the morning I made her Nyquil waffles (again Triforce) and then banged her out again. I unplugged/turned off her clock, phone and computer and told her roommate she did not want to be disturbed and lied about sleeping with her despite the fact that it had been obvious. I’ll call her tomorrow.

Anyway so I get home and for some reason calculate my loans to date: $277,451. Wow. 300k is on the horizon. It would have been worth it if I had been tagging ass like I am now for the past 8 years. Everytime I have a night like last night I think about what a waste 7 years was at a state school not getting any. Oh well.
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I don’t plan to ever pay my student loans unless I have an eight figure bank account. Before you say that’s ridiculous, say I get $1 million tommorrow. After Taxes that’s 600k. If I were to pay off my current loans and the ones I plan to take out I’d have what? A buck eighty for my troubles? That’s a first year associate’s salary plus bonus. What the hell I am I supposed to do with that? Certainly not start my own practice or business.

But say I had 7 million. Am I paying off my loans? No. I’d just leave the country for a tropical paradise and live off the interest of my stock portfolio- avoid taxes AND loans. While this is mostly a commentary on the perverse incentive structure student loans create don’t count me out. It’s called a class action settlement.

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Ever wonder how rich people have such screwed up lives? Particularly rich kids? I mean all you have to do is keep your head down, follow a pre-set plan, maintain the fortune built for you and spend the rest of your time at leisure. Also don’t have kids. But somewhere one gets the idea that one should be successful in one’s one right, to do it one’s one way to get some sort of satisfaction outside of material comfort. Foolish definitely – but quite prevalent. Of course in so doing not only do the rich kids fail at their new endeavor but squander what’s been given to them.

So I got straight As and made Law Review. Yeah. If you recall I drank the semester away, used psychological warfare on fellow classmates and wrote tests ignoring the questions posed but simply regurgitated journal articles they’ve written blended with answers from old tests. Some questions were exactly the same. Now I am in a bit of a quandry. Do I continue with the Debtors Prison inspired plan or do I do my own thing and try and make a traditional go at this whole law school thing?
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I didn’t get much out of the other responses.  Erin is kind of a bitch, Alpha Man is a downer, Icarus is a drunk with less lyrical skills than your average rapper whose claim to fame is being shot and Simon’s Girlfriend is extremely self-absorbed.  I did get the message however that they are at best indifferent to Benito and Triforce’s call to arms.

First, I am not sure if Benito is being serious or if this is, as I first took it, simply an attempt to change the subject of the discourse of this blog from identifying the problem to what can be done.  Ok, you’ve borrowed a ton and now are precariously, under or unemployed.  Now what?  If this is a call to answer the MUCH MUCH harder “now what?” I’d be happy to see that, and even suggest dividing the “now what?” into long-term what should be lobbied for and how to change as a society and a what to do personally in the short-term. I think that’s a laudable goal – particularly considering the point that Alpha Man once made and Simon’s Girlfriend almost made before her dripping superficiality leaked out – the real debt we have is to each other and that can be serviced by helping people like us.

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So I haven’t written in awhile at Benito’s behest. He said I should be focusing on my exams. I will fill you in on those momentarily but first a quick recap:

I decided to borrow heavily to go to a third-rate law school with a terrible track record at placing grads in jobs after taking seven years and $200,000 to graduate from my state college despite my affiliation with this blog.

Why? Well suppose you were in prison for life and someone said you could be out for three years to drink and whore on someone else’s dime so long as you came back afterward? Why not?
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As you might imagine there isn’t much to occupy my time now that people are going out less and studying more. I found an undergrad who showed me how to scan documents into Word files so I can rip off commercial outlines and distribute them in my study groups. So, with the time on my hands I have come up with some schemes to make myself some cash when the semester ends. I will devote this ones to the legal schemes…get it? Pun intended.

First of course has to do with text books. I found out when and where a set of major exams are occuring at each of the three Universities within easy commuting distance and I am placing a large recepticle outside that says DONATE USED TEXTBOOKS. I will collect them and sell them on E-bay.

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Law School is getting less fun as exams are approaching. Fewer people are going out, they are going out less often, and they are not staying out as long. It’s not a total loss. As the women shed their humanity and feminity they are ending pre-law relationships and sleeping with whatever can drink a 5th of vodka and still maintain an erection. Since nobody else is going out and staying out that, ladies and gentlemen, is usually me.

I know why people are scared. Exams. Nobody who doesn’t crack the top 20% has a shot at a job post graduation. This is scary for people who have never had to live back home and who have never had their lives used as a parable for failure. For me, the worst that can happen is par for the course. What I fear is success.

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