Put 2010 behind you.
Look forward to a debt free 2012
Sure. Why not?

But I’m through putting things behind me
I am keeping the past in front where I can see it
Besides the present is ugly
And I can’t see the future through the haze

Debt is literally the past coming back to haunt you
Debt is like a gas station a block away on a one way street but in the wrong direction. And you are just about out of gas. If only you could go back- but you can’t. Instead you’ll have to push a car a long long distance which will take a long long time.

What were you thinking a block ago? You knew how much gas you had…but you believed the lies they told you about the mileage. Now the red light is on but it’s too late to go back.

You get out to push. You expect the mocking jeers of those with gassed up cars but you never expected the insults and the rotten vegetables from the pedestrians who never drive. They remember the scorn of those driving by and their j willingness to slow down as they crossed the street. They think you’re still one of them.

You want to abandon your car but what if their is a gas station just over that next hill?

By the time you find a gas station you find the fuel is only compatible with newer cars. You are already a dinosaur.
Read the rest of this entry →

He was given everything from
Life
He took everything from
Life
He hung himself from
High
He left a garbled message
The ink is smeared
I cannot read it

To whom is it addressed? Does it say dear brother? Was he one of us?
Read the rest of this entry →

I’ve always wanted to die during the holiday season.  A few days after Christmas, but definitely before the new year.  I suppose I’d feel sorry for those survived by me, but like most in debtor’s prison I am on the fast track to dying alone. For those of us who actually ask ourselves what we should believe versus what we do believe the mostly secular celebration that is connotes Christmas (not to be confused with the welcoming of the Christ child during the season of Advent that marks the beginning of the Christian liturgical year) merely provides a backdrop for life’s harder questions.  Regardless of where one falls on the spectrum of faith most would agree that things that are bad are worse during the holidays, and things that are good are better during the holidays.

I think this is the reason for the heightened suicides, drinking and…did I mention suicides? Seriously, imagine for a moment downing a bottle of pills with a nice glass of wine and looking at a beautiful Christmas tree, comfortable on the couch with a roaring fire, and watching that tree’s splendor increase expponentially until suddenly and before you even know it you are in the very glory of…sorry, I get carried away.  Particularly when I don’t have to be bothered making every little thing rhyme. 

Read the rest of this entry →

Home is a space you have the right to control
It is not a place you are permitted to stay
Even if your stay is contingent upon financial arrangement
Even if your stay is based on mutual bonds of affection

Home is a space where your actions and presence are not subject to question
Even if you should be at work
Even if there are chores to be done

Read the rest of this entry →

I’ve got alot of pills
And Not a Single Reason Not to Take Them
Suicide? No. Depression.

I can’t explain it
I just want to die
Suicide? No. Mental Illness

I’m me – I can’t not be me
Society says that’s not ok – or worse I am evil
Suicide? No. Collective Murder

I’m me – I can’t not be me
Society says that’s wrong so I keep it a secret. You outed me.
Suicide? No. Murder

Arguably the worst kind. Your ugliness makes me sick.

You are not my friend
I don’t learn about my friends
On the Internet

You are a reminder
Of what I could have been
After all our paths crossed once

Read the rest of this entry →

- Do Not be Paralyzed

By Your Ability to See Both Sides

Look Towards Your Anchor and Act

However, Choose your Anchor Cautiously

For it is the basis of all your journey’s decisions

Lest you be lead in the circle of hypocrisy

- Anonymous –

These aren’t my words but I thought I’d share them because they illustrate the other “law school scam” that has nothing to do with the fact that it’s an overpriced waste of time that has little chance of getting you any sort of gainful employment, much less one that might help you pay off your loans and start a life before you’re dead.  I also am not going to take issue with professors whose only job is to write and consider teaching a nuasance.  I am taking issue with the fact that a legal education is an enemy of “truth” as defined in the discipline of philosophy and as such eliminates the anchor spoken of in the prose that introduces this entry.  Allow me to explain.

Read the rest of this entry →

I attacked my day with gusto and zeal

For you see, I’ve decided not to feel

I hardly notice as those whose exercise unjust dominion over me

Mock what I hold most dear

Go get ‘em champ! My smile is real!

For you see, I’ve decided not to feel

Read the rest of this entry →

I have the easiest debt any man has ever had

I do not pay off my debt with labor or sex or both – though still I am humiliated

My debt is a soft debt

So I lift my pen – that is my right

My debt is an easy debt because I was dealing with a thief and not a kidnapper

My humiliation was a byproduct of being robbed

A means to an end rather than an end itself

So I lift my pen – my cooler head prevails

Read the rest of this entry →

The following prose is inspired by interviews with and commentary from Mike Triforce and is posted with his infered blessing and endorsement.  This in no way reflects my own thoughts and feelings. Thanks for your support during my rough patch asshole.

I make my own sandwhich
It happens – like laundry or other minutaie
But as I search for pickles the magnitude of it hits me
What wonders will the world never see
 - or see hundreds of years later
 - because Einstein on some random day
 - had to make his own sandwhich

So yes Princess it could be the end of the world
I could be writing a song
Or rehearsing a part
Or trying to figure out exactly how much I can charge this chump client before he starts raising red flags

Read the rest of this entry →