So I am out at a restaurant with SG and some of her doctor friends. The night is a waste. All but one of the male doctors came in their scrubs which is a non-starter and the only one who didn’t removed his until then welcome hand on my knees when his buddy not so subtlely let it slip that he was engaged. The tool then turns his conversation to Egypt where he had recently vacationed with said fiancée and turns out half the table had been. I hadn’t said anything in awhile so I make some cliche crack about rich doctors.

The table goes silent. They look indignant. They say that as residents they make “nothing” and that I make more than anyone at the table. They then proceed to nominate me to pay the bill. I am speechless.

For a split second my half-lawyer instinct kicks in and I drop plastic. They proceed to order drinks and after dinner appetizers. Yes, they ordered more food after their entrees as soon as it became free to them. I had to sign the name of one of those douche bags and report my card stolen and I hate using Mike Triforce tricks.

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Alpha Man responded to my last article so I thought I would return the favor. I too was there when Benito decided to steer clear of Debt Free U. I thought it was the right decision and Alpha Man’s diatribe confirms that.

Look, I am not taking a position one way or another. I haven’t read the book. But what I am saying is that if you take the premise that Benito and Alpha Man put forward that their degrees have been worthless with respect to landing jobs, then regardless of a Debt Free U degree’s value in the marketplace, it’s better than doing it any other way because it’s the cheapest option.

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And from blogging apparently. This is the fourth post I have started. Fingers crossed that I finish.  My break from
Politics doesn’t mean starting now that the election is almost passed. I mean my break since I switched jobs.  Lawyers tend to have a hyper sensitivity to politics. Debt and money too for that matter – even though they do not have a lion’s share of either.

Most people think of politics like their favorite sports team. They started voting for a party or following a team probably because their father did or because that is what you had to do to get along where ever you happen to be. Last night’s game is discussed over coffee during the early week and… that’s it.

I will vote of course. But this serene place I like to call an average corporate office has allowed me to see and state the obvious. After all that is what consultants do. Republicans will make gains because it is a midterm election. Something unexpected but ultimately minor will happen and Republicans will fail to win Congress in it’s entirety. If Obama pulls out of Afghanistan and the economy turns around he’ll get reelected. If not, he won’t.

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Leave it to Alpha Man to turn something he read on Sweet Hot Justice into a racial conspiracy theory. I have an alternate observation along the same lines of what does or does not constitute “rich” for tax purposes or in terms of being able to travel in certain circles.  My (new job) rich friends make less than my (old job) poor friends. A lot less actually. I am talking 50% on average. How? Why? I find the answer not in any historical patterns but in the age old question of which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Click on to read more

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So Mike Triforce recently got lit up when he commented on a guest post by Sweet Hot Justice on ATL.  The post consisted of a girl complaining that she was too perfect to date. She made too much money and was too attractive and too much fun to be around. Here at Debtor’s Prison we think you are likely to have a slightly different problem when it comes to meeting relationship material.  Like most of our problems it is a compound quandry. Whereas endless debt can be broken down into borrowing too much for too little and little to no economic opportunity and water can be broken down into hydrogen and oxygen so too can stagnant dating be broken down into friend erosion and of course the constant shame of debt and perceived under achievement.

Because of Benito this blog has a tendency to treat debt and unemployment as two almost interchangeable phenomenons. This is not the case and nowhere is it more evident than dating. One of my favorite analogies is that unemployment is like race and debt is like sexual orientation (aka one is readily discernible while the other can be disguised if one so desires but both are often the cause of discrimination). An unemployed person simply cannot afford the wine/dine entertainment heavy initial phase of dating. A debtor can just put it on his or her credit card and pray.

I think there should be an all encompassing term or score that is derived from one’s employment or lack thereof, age and debt, but that is a topic for another post. The salient point here I think is that if you have trouble meeting people it’s because of friend erosion.

Face it, you’re out of school and there is nothing else quite like it for making friends. If you all don’t go to the same location afterwards you see your friends less. If your friends are somewhere where they are closer to other elements of their circle they become closer to those friends and drift farther away from you. So if you can’t afford to live in Center City like everyone else because of that loan payment or move back to the suburbs because you lost your job well…relationships change. Suddenly you are not tagging along to work happy hours or tapped to escort a friend’s significant other’s friend to a wedding or concert.

And this is the reason this ultimately may be a commentary post as opposed to advice…I have no idea what to do about this. All I can say is that anything you do to try and meet people to fill this gap be it yoga, joining an animal rights group or pretending to follow a sports team will ultimately end in failure.  The WORST thing you can do is join a faith community to meet people. This is stupid because most religions have guidelines about dating AND it’s a horribly disingenuous thing to do.

I would say as things stand now a relationship is most likely to occur in the following situations: 1) doing something you’re ALREADY passionate about 2) doing something that requires alot of sans internet downtime and 3) the internet.  If through debt and/or possible unemployment or underemployment you’ve managed to hold on to your position coaching your nephew’s swim team because you were an All-American in college there’s a chance you might meet a kid’s aunt/uncle/older sibling.  You’ll be in a familiar environment where you hold some authority and that’s your best chance to display the qualities that might attract a mate.  Your next best chance is a situation where you’re just around a certain group of people alot without internet.  Long drives and campaigns come to mind.  Hanging around a bar or convenience store doesn’t count, the proximity must be brought about for some kind of point like getting to a destination, be it physical or political.  Finally there is the internet.  Statistically this is a valid place to look for relationships and you’re not one to look down on anyone.

The worst part of all this is that it shatters another illusion. You thought if you did everything right you’d be ok even in a shitty economy. Well, you wouldn’t be here if you still believed that. You also thought your friendships were based on deep special bonds between unique individuals not simply chance and convenience.

We pray not to be brought to the test because the results are so often heartbreaking.

So there have been alot of things to get used to working at my new job.  Just about everyone goes on vacation between the 4th of July and Labor Day.  Just about everyone works between 8 and 6.  Many people are content with their current jobs and plan to work there until they retire.  They see their children and significant others.  If you refer to someone as the “nice” guy that’s usually not enough to identify them.  If you refer to someone as an “asshole” usually that is enough to identify them.  But there was always something more…and unfortunately for nurses that “something more” was the fact that my new profession wasn’t subservient to another.

I know being a paralegal and a nurse have many differences, but at the end of the day they are subservients to lawyers and doctors respectively, and it doesn’t matter if the former has been on the job 40 years and the latter is on their first day…JD equals “Just Do what I say” and MD equals ”My Decision.” 

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In my last post I mentioned that most people at my company don’t have student debt.  I sat on this for awhile, wanting to come to my own conclusions without comments from Benito and the Peanut Gallery. I think I finally figured it out. Nobody wants to be a “Management Analyst” or a “Program Manager” when they grow up.

My first instinct was greed. I still think that’s a big part of it. People associate wealth with the Ivy League and top schools and doctored statistics or not the hazy promise of wealth does it for most people.

But let’s look at the heaviest student debtors – doctors and lawyers, well that’s almost too easy. Follow that with the hazier “captain of industry” or boss and you have another group due to that pesky MBA.

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Law Firms are not complex organizations. Lawyers come in essentially two flavors: associate and partner. Associates, office space and furniture, cases, clients and profits (in reverse order of importance) belong to partners and the more you have of each the more important you are. Everyone else, secretaries, paralegals, tech guys and contractors are chattel, somewhere between a chair and a mule, with of counsels being an anomoly (think talking Donkey). Other offices are more complicated.

I think the biggest difference between a law firm and a regular office is the frequency of disputes with no clear winner. Even first year associates have different leverage walking in on day one and if a dispute occurs (usually over a hook-up that shouldn’t have happened) prior connections or the female associate’s willingness to sleep around quickly determine who has the upperhand.

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Where’s Erin been? It seems that’s the question nobody asked. I feel the love, really I do. I am glad my contributions are so appreciated. I hate all of you.

To recap: this job is a means to an end. I am with this soulless corporate conglomerate for free education. Truly free education. Even a full ride to a school has opportunity cost. Here I can work while I put in time towards completing my degree thereby using my old law school credits and earning an MBA on top of that.

It’s also better than working at a law firm. There is still a hierarchy but it’s more fluid. I am a “Management Analyst” like a sea of faceless others. There is also more anonymity too. If someone is not on your project team chances are you don’t know them and they don’t know you. Also not everyone knows your exact salary.

Deadlines are looser and less arbitrary. There is also a thing called a “Project Manager” who is responsible for seeing that tasks get finished competently and on time. This individual often is not a “boss” but rather a, what’s the word…”colleague.” People in the legal world don’t have these. It’s just bosses, partners, clerks and associates.

People here also look better. When I guess ages I am off usually by 7 years, 10 if the person is over 45. People don’t brag about never seeing their families or sexual debauchery if they are over a certain age. I have yet to be sexually harassed.

The only mistake I’ve made is talking about how things used to be. I told a story about Mike Triforce and…blank stares. It wasn’t even that they thought I was full of shit it was just they had no context for a world that could operate like that. It’s kind of like when taxpayers find out how their money is spent.

My biggest disappointment is that the office isn’t like the TV show with the same name. It’s just, well, an office. That’s all for now. Hopefully it won’t be another month before I write again. Not that anyone would notice.

So if this was any other blog I, the most consistent female contributor, would be going on some wild zany trip between jobs where I would discover my lesbian side and drive a car that only only people who don’t have to work at all drive. Well sorry guys. If you’re looking for a sex fantasy you’ve come to the wrong place.

Instead I am going to elaborate on the plan I mentioned earlier about how to get the rest of my JD paid for and earn another degree to boot. Read on for the details.

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