Ok, I’m sorry but I am too good for this. It felt good being “normal” after turning my back on the law (education wise then quitting my job as a paralegal) and doing normal shit like leaving a bar at 11 pm and having co-worker friends I neither love nor hate. But I just can’t work for Olla, my bitch manager with an Associate’s degree who is a year younger than me and has three kids (which we fucking talks about all the time like I give a damn the goofy looking titty parasite rolled over at three months).

I realized I hated her when I caught myself fantasizing about killing her during a presentation I was giving and my remarks deviated from reality to fantasy. Of course nobody noticed because nobody was fucking listening but that is neither here nor there.

Now there are many reasons I could hate her (did I mention the kid thing?) the lack of education, the amazing luck she’s had during her career, the condescending way she talks to subordinates (kind of like we are her children) the way she bitches when she’s at the office past 6 because she runs the risk of missing her kid’s bedtime and the way she owns a sporty little convertible that costs three times the amount of a mini-van yet complains that not all her kids fit in it. Oh and of course I could do her job much better than she can.
Read the rest of this entry →

So I’ve been at my new job for just under a year and am at that crucial point where the mere fact that my job is not something I remember hating is no longer enough to sustain me through each day.  This development has coincided with a mental paradigm shift: I no longer compare myself to the broken, debt-ridden, one foot in the grave at 30 law school classmates of yesteryear. I now compare myself to the young professionals who are getting married, starting families and doing this peculiar activity called “living.” This is significant because whereas I am doing much better than my colleagues left to rot in the dead legal profession I am doing much worse than my colleagues who went the “business analyst” route (think liberal arts majors with soft computer skills).

I don’t think my experience is unique. When you get out of s really bad situation, below average seems fantastic. In relationships it’s called being on the rebound. Then one day you wake up next to a married assistant manager of your local deli and realize just because he doesn’t hit you or sell your stuff online doesn’t mean he’s Mr. Right. Well, I just realized my job is that assistant manager.
Read the rest of this entry →

I was furious when I read the headline about the woman who was dismissed from her job at a law firm days after suffering a miscarriage.

http://abovethelaw.com/2008/05/breaking-a-dramatic-farewell-emailand-proof-of-paul-hastings-layoffs-/

Needing to vent I turned to the first woman I saw in the office despite somewhere in the back of my mind knowing she was one of those bible thumping conservatives. No joke, the conversation went something like:

“Can you BELIEVE what happened to this poor woman?!”

“She should have stayed in the damn kitchen.”

“Pardon?”

“She should have been at home. If there weren’t so many women in the workplace, particularly lawyers, then perhaps my nephew could find a job or get into law school.”

“What if she had just decided to get an abortion huh? I bet you’d support more work life balance then.”

“Then she would have burned in hell. She probably will anyway. Her act of working was an abortive act in the eyes of the Lord. Better the child suffer in purgatory than be raised in a damned household.”

The woman crossed herself and went into the ladies room. I considered following her, grabbing her by the hair, and slamming her head into the latrine until I felt better. Instead I called Alpha Man and asked him why there were so many more turncoat women than turncoat blacks. Do we have to be constantly arrested and fucked up by the cops to remind us where we still stand in society?
Read the rest of this entry →

As the person with the lowest loan balance and second-highest current income I feel it’s my responsibility to say “wake up guys.” Now I am not saying it can’t be done but what I am saying is that if Benito or Triforce had enough going for them that they could come up with 200k apiece after taxes, they probably wouldn’t have student loans in the first place.  Additionally, the amount of money they would have to make and the time they would have to do it in negates most if not all legitimate enterprises given that they have no access to capital.

So let’s start with the most financially successful of the two: Mike Triforce.  Given his womanizing ways and association with failed actors my gut tells me his best shot is setting up a porn site starring himself.  Please, I am not being glib and I am disgusted by the idea but porn is legal and I would not be surprised if his girlfriend has supplemented her income with occasional work in the industry. Ok, that was catty, I (should) take that back.
Read the rest of this entry →

Christmas parties are different outside of law.  Sort of like debt. On the outside it’s credit card debt as opposed to educational. The thing about credit card debt is that you can get out of it just most…don’t. Same thing with the Christmas party…there are just too many people to make sure you go and yet most do.

At a law holiday party people just let their ass hang out.  I’ve been groped, sexually harassed and forced to continually drink to the point that I had to regularly pour out fresh drinks in the ladies room.  The party doesn’t end until 12 am and the mandatory after party doesn’t stop until 2. Partners openly consort with mistresses.  It’s like student debt. Here it comes. Hard and fast. There’s a lot and you’re staying until the end.
Read the rest of this entry →

Now I know how Alpha Man feels about Clarence Thomas thanks to Sarah Palin. I don’t just mean a political figure the same sex and race as I am who is in favor of systematically destroying the infrastructure set-up to combat the discrimination against people like me that’s reinforced by hundreds of years of injustice. I was always of the opinion that anyone possessing normal human empathy could understand that. I am talking about something more specific.

When one discovers their education is either useless or to some degree a hindrance you try and find other reasons it was worth it. Alpha Man has been known to remark “at least I made alot of white people mad.” Touche Alpha Man. Similarly I got satisfaction out of proving guys who thought a woman’s place was the kitchen wrong.  In fact the hardest part of my law school hiatus was taking a paralegal job working for predominantly men who would assume I couldn’t hack law school which ironically made me more attractive to them. Some of my single friends who stuck it out actually envied me. But screw that. I only need to meet one acceptable guy whose not intimidated by me to have a relationship. The rest can cower in fear and I take satisfaction in that. It’s almost worth the 28 cents less per dollar I will make in my lifetime.

Read the rest of this entry →

So I am out at a restaurant with SG and some of her doctor friends. The night is a waste. All but one of the male doctors came in their scrubs which is a non-starter and the only one who didn’t removed his until then welcome hand on my knees when his buddy not so subtlely let it slip that he was engaged. The tool then turns his conversation to Egypt where he had recently vacationed with said fiancée and turns out half the table had been. I hadn’t said anything in awhile so I make some cliche crack about rich doctors.

The table goes silent. They look indignant. They say that as residents they make “nothing” and that I make more than anyone at the table. They then proceed to nominate me to pay the bill. I am speechless.

For a split second my half-lawyer instinct kicks in and I drop plastic. They proceed to order drinks and after dinner appetizers. Yes, they ordered more food after their entrees as soon as it became free to them. I had to sign the name of one of those douche bags and report my card stolen and I hate using Mike Triforce tricks.

Read the rest of this entry →

Alpha Man responded to my last article so I thought I would return the favor. I too was there when Benito decided to steer clear of Debt Free U. I thought it was the right decision and Alpha Man’s diatribe confirms that.

Look, I am not taking a position one way or another. I haven’t read the book. But what I am saying is that if you take the premise that Benito and Alpha Man put forward that their degrees have been worthless with respect to landing jobs, then regardless of a Debt Free U degree’s value in the marketplace, it’s better than doing it any other way because it’s the cheapest option.

Read the rest of this entry →

And from blogging apparently. This is the fourth post I have started. Fingers crossed that I finish.  My break from
Politics doesn’t mean starting now that the election is almost passed. I mean my break since I switched jobs.  Lawyers tend to have a hyper sensitivity to politics. Debt and money too for that matter – even though they do not have a lion’s share of either.

Most people think of politics like their favorite sports team. They started voting for a party or following a team probably because their father did or because that is what you had to do to get along where ever you happen to be. Last night’s game is discussed over coffee during the early week and… that’s it.

I will vote of course. But this serene place I like to call an average corporate office has allowed me to see and state the obvious. After all that is what consultants do. Republicans will make gains because it is a midterm election. Something unexpected but ultimately minor will happen and Republicans will fail to win Congress in it’s entirety. If Obama pulls out of Afghanistan and the economy turns around he’ll get reelected. If not, he won’t.

Read the rest of this entry →

Leave it to Alpha Man to turn something he read on Sweet Hot Justice into a racial conspiracy theory. I have an alternate observation along the same lines of what does or does not constitute “rich” for tax purposes or in terms of being able to travel in certain circles.  My (new job) rich friends make less than my (old job) poor friends. A lot less actually. I am talking 50% on average. How? Why? I find the answer not in any historical patterns but in the age old question of which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Click on to read more

Read the rest of this entry →