So my most recent audition was for this pilot playing a college kid who gets recruited by a top law firm without a law degree. I was GOLDEN up until I told the director that basically someone tried to parlay the least interesting 20 minutes of the movie Catch Me If You Can into a series but it’s USA so what do you expect?

So the question on your mind is could I have done it? Of course. Why didn’t I? Simple. Nobody would ever make the offer because of the liability. Imagine getting sued by all your clients at once. Arguably more importantly, without the debt and the time wasted on law school firms wouldn’t be able to control their young employees. If you want to scream constantly at a 21 year-old you better be wearing a drill seargeant’s hat and be able to kick the shit out of him. Otherwise you are liable to get your ass DROPPED.

Don’t believe me? Here’s an experiment. Do a few laps around your office. Is there a lawyer with a black eye or bloody nose? If the answer is yes check the mail room and see if they are understaffed or have recently hired someone new.

So what would I have taken if I could have taken just one class? Definitely Professional Responsibility (yes I remember my two part column of why Professional Responsibility is a joke) .Why? Because that is the class that confirms what you’ve slowly grown more suspicious of over your however many years in law school – there is no honor among thieves and winners make the rules.

Here’s another way of putting it- you take an oath to the Constitution once, maybe a couple times if you are really lucky. You solemnly affirm your timesheet (and the almighty dollar) every day. Professional Responsibility is the only class that reflects that.