People, I look good. I was just looking at some pictures of myself from a 4th of July party.  I mean I look spectacular. Paparazzi would have to follow me for weeks just to even have a chance at a bad shot. You know who looks terrible though? These Bush era big oil attorneys testifying in front of Congress. They are wrinkly, pale, flabby and have the stink of deceit on them. Haven’t they ever heard of face men?

Then it hit me. That’s where my next job is – big oil. If defending rich individual murderers gets you paid then imagine how much bank is in defending industrial murderers? AAAnnnd you don’t have to spend years in the DAs office working for slave wages.

Recently my incompetent understudy suggested I am actually out on my ass. I can assure you my name DOES appear on my firm’s website. Perhaps KF Li has forgotten my real name. I also found it odd he’d bring that up in this forum since there is no way for the reader to independently verify that.  Here’s a tip people: if you make an accusation you better have a means for your audience to verify it.

Also ask yourself this: if I was out on my ass it would probably be due to the exploits I described on this blog and if that were true I’d be disbarred and obviously not looking for a law job. Even if I was just randomly laid off, I am pretty sure Benito has mentioned that laid off attorneys are black listed.

However, laid off or not it would be hard not to hire me. I think I am going to start including headshots with resumes. It would almost be a sin not to, like Lebron James not playing basketball. Seriously you have to see me. I am experimenting with stubble a la “Face” in the A-Team. My hair is long and sexy, and it’s still combed down into my eyes, giving me the hair band accessory, the head cock and of course the hand run-through to keep the hair out of my eyes. I don’t know how the women who supervise me keep their hands off me. I couldn’t and I’m not even gay.

I also like big oil law because you can make your career with one case and it’s not about laws and precedent but about favors. I am half Italian and the mob-esque nature of it, looking at bought judges and politicians appeals to me.

Mike Triforce always lands on his feet folks. I could get laid off and not even notice. Why? Because I’d be too busy looking good. Also did I ever mention the Princess has a rich daddy who owes me for putting a roof over the head of his trifling daughter who could stand to work on her abs lest she continue to look like the first trimester of a pregnancy? And like I’ve said before, faking hours, that’s kid stuff. It’s also SO 2008. I’m sitting on something SO much bigger than that – still can’t say, not even on the blog, but I will give you a hint. There’s an old saying God doesn’t give with two hands – that’s why we’re already predisposed to think that pretty people are either dumb or crazy.