*clap* *clap* *clap*

You really have to give it up for KF Li. I mean he’s not even in law school yet and he’s doling out billing advice oh yeah, and calling me a bitch, saying I am scared of Benito just because my last what, two posts have a slightly different flavor? Hard to believe it was just a few months ago when I relegated him to wearing a dunce cap for botching a post so badly.

Here’s the best part: KF Li has unwittingly given me 1) the credit for the tips and 2) a way to deny culpability should my own identity ever be uncovered. He also fell for the oldest trick in the book pulled by high powered attorneys: buy a law student drinks for a week, and he will buy you drinks for a year.

Read on to hear why else KF Li is already too big for his damn britches…

The Market has changed folks. While I will be the first to admit there is a timeless quality to any utterance I make the tricks of the trade from two years ago ain’t gonna get you paid. You need to know not what I DID but what I am DOING.

Now obviously I am not going to tell you exactly what I’ve done recently but I can tell you this – things that will get you permanently disbarred might not necessarily land you jail time and vice versa. This one scam I pulled would do both and no I am not talking about the drunken hit and run.  Shit I did fucked with the bank accounts of a very powerful industry, the one that recently defeated something called “the public option.” So back up and recognize. Disrespect me at your own peril.

And that goes DOUBLE for you lucky sons of bitches who’ve managed to not get fired playing the game straight-up. You’ve paid down your loans, bought a used car, and maybe even an overpriced house in the city that you can barely walk around in…oh I know you think you’re better than me. Think you’re getting married? You’re not? Think you’re safe at your job now that the worst of the recession is over? You’re not.

There once was a blind man who successfully crossed a busy highway 100 times. The 101st time he was struck, killed. And went to hell. During his eternal torment the devil asked him why his dumb blind ass tried to cross that busy highway and the old man said “I crossed one hundred times before” to which the Devil replied “and how did that affect the probability that you would make it across the last time?” the blind man’s answers were drowned out with screaming.

All you’ve done is flip a coin and gotten heads ten times. Remember me when it comes up tails.