Whoever tells you not to go to law school, don’t listen to them.  I’m not even there yet and already I am having a blast.  Spent a few weeks in NAPA learning about wine so I have something to talk about with the kids that matter – actually got an uncle to pay for it who was, get this, glad I was finally applying myself.  Awesome.  That freed up some cash to wine and dine Mike Triforce, who I suspect is strapped for cash for some reason.  The following are some of his rules for padding hours.  We are learning from a (former?) Master here fellas.  I question him because if you follow this blog you know he hasn’t been the same since his hiatus.  He blames Benito, but when has Triforce ever cared about what Benito thought before?  He knows Benito RARELY doesn’t approve an article…

But anyway.  Go to law school.  It is the only profession where you have a statistically measurable chance of landing a job that pays 160k or more for doing the following.  Secrets are after the fold people.

#1 Lie.  This isn’t as simple as it seems.  Triforce says I will do well in law school because I’ve never really tried to please other people.  This isn’t true for most lawyers.  Most lawyers got good grades for most of their lives by generally doing and saying what they’re told – and telling the truth is one of those tired mantras society has tried to ingrain in us.  Also, lawyers are cowardly.   Courageous people who care about the law become cops, and people with balls who want to make money become crooks.  The almost non-existent chance of being caught AND being reported AND the bar caring enough to do anything about it is enough to keep most lawyers in line.  Seriously, I can’t wait to be a lawyer.

#2 Don’t Go to Your Office.  Caveat, you are going to need to go to your office late at night to get that “go-getter” reputation.  You also need to make sure your office lights are on.  For these reasons it’s a VERY good idea to make sure you live within walking distance of your job.  However, there is absolutely no reason to be at your office in the middle of the day.  Nothing good can come of it.  Nobody ever comes looking for you to tell you “good job.”

#3 Ask to See Old Bills.  The first two simply require balls.  Here is where that eighth grade reading level comes into play.  Not that this one doesn’t require balls as well.  You only have a brief window when you first start to ask to see bills without seeming suspicious.  Look at how many hours generally each file bares but also look at TRENDS.  You want files that are paying higher and higher bills each month.  It’s like cable – some people cancel their cable when the promotions end (bad client) and some people aren’t paying attention and after the trial period are content to let their cable bill go up $20 a month (good client). 

That’s it for now.  More on this to come.  Remember, lie, stay home, and find the clients that are willing to lie down and take it.