So as my vacation began to wind down I asked myself how all the overpriced coffee shops, dive bars posing as pubs and tiny bookstores with the selection you would expect from any the shelf of an eighth grader with a C average stay in business during the other 11 months and two weeks when I never deviate from the from the well-worn path between the apartment and the hospital.  The answer of course is hipsters.

So what is a hipster? A hipster is a self-righteous individual well into adulthood who rationalizes living off an income they do not generate while contributing nothing to society.  The individuals are plagued by an almost crippling insecurity and the need to validate their existence by constantly talking about their own achievements real, exaggerated or imagined.  Hipsters tend to be very selectively judgmental, priding themselves on their ability to adhere to a personal code of ethics based upon a celebration of their own appetites and a condemnation of others who prefer different vices.  They are also self-absorbed. Facebook.  Twitter. Myspace.  Need I say more?

Is it possible for a student debtor to be a hipster? Am I…a hipster? Read on to find out

Yes, a student debtor can be a hipster.  It’s just the income they do not generate are loans.  So what you might ask? You have fun in school, get out, get a job and you grow up FAST and drive a Kia until you are 40.  Or do you? The problem with being a student-debtor hipster is this: even if you get a job that allows you to both pay your loans AND spend your money the way an eleven year-old might spend his allowance (can’t get to the bargain stores on your bike after all) you begin to get lazy.  Here’s why.  The hipster lifestyle is based on sleeping twelve hours a day and having conversations about nothing.  You can’t truly be a hipster and work even a 9-5 job.  If you have significant debt and a job with the potential of paying it chances are you work harder than that, or at least you should.  But you don’t 1) because you are hipster 2) you think you’re better than them because you have a job…which you feel entitled not to go to.  But you’ll cash that check.

Now for the harder question.  Am I a hipster? Worse yet, am I the worst KIND of hipster? I like being served over-priced coffee by someone with an attitude.  I don’t care if Dunkin Donuts serves better, cheaper coffee by someone who understands what service means and doesn’t think they are too good for their job.  I would never be caught dead ordering the same beer in my ‘fridge out in public (by that I mean Center City).  But that’s not the worst of it.

The worst of it is this – the only reason my student loans are somewhat manageable is that my boyfriend pays for everything.  I don’t mean like when we go out.  I mean everything.  Rent.  Utilities. Cable. Phone. Internet. Groceries.  I have a credit card for miscellaneous purchases that he pays in my purse.  And here’s the worst of it.  After Alpha Man’s vampire crack I tried to retort – but I don’t know what he does exactly.  So sad.