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A wise man once said “Tell the truth, it’s easier.” Notice how I didn’t day a rich man or a powerful man. Truth be told lying is a skill and discipline like any other- the skill of remembering what you said and when. Therefore even a skilled liar needs to craft lies in such a way that they are filed in your subconscious in an orderly fashion.  This is a matter of life or death for me.  What if my hours were ever questioned? That’s not the best example because my firms don’t care if their clients are taken for a ride so long as its making them rich.  Conversely, if my client cared about its attorneys padding the bill they wouldn’t have come to my firm.  Man I love my job!

Student Loans are the glue that hold so many lies together – from refusing an invitation on an expensive trip or making an excuse for not getting a wedding gift to the deeper lies we tell ourselves that allow us to rationalize our own self-interested behavior. I have to do horrible things to retroactively pay for 4-7 years of drunken debauchery because mummy and daddoms wouldn’t!

I’m paid to lie and I am fabulous at it (though I lie to bosses and clients almost as much as I lie on behalf of them). But even I make mistakes. Read on to find out how I slipped up.

So Benito met a guy at one of those unemployed meet and greets and happened to ask me if I would pass on his name to the guy that runs the mailroom. Now Benito asked during my favorite time of day, between my third and fourth drink so I said ok and even gave my number so he could follow up.

So the idiot calls around 11 AM. I put Rock Band on pause and answer the phone. It’s the guy. He asks where I am and I say the office. That’s the lie. He doesn’t get right down to business but mentions something about facebook. I say I am just about to check it. The guy then remarks that he thought facebook was blocked at my office.

Now to my credit I didn’t tell him that, Benito did but still you have to assume basic communication between certain groups and shape your lies accordingly. I saved myself by saying I could just use my iPhone because as Luke Wilson tells us you can talk and surf the web at the same time.

Of course yours truly has an iPhone and Blackberry so I’ve never Actually had to do that. So I hung up on him by accident. Moving on to the next lesson.

When caught in a lie avoid that person like the plague even as in my situation their station is infinitely inferior to your own.