It’s your man KF Li here.  I’m officially off probation and back to occassionally filling in for Mike Triforce.  I’ve been doing pretty good lately.  I joined the Army! Well, I applied for the Army.  But in my book, that makes me a soldier and I have been reaping the benefits.  People have been buying me drinks and once I bought an old uniform off of e-bay girls have been talking to me.  The Army also pays off student loans.  I think I get a gun too, or a sword maybe if I am in the calvary.

But anyway, the point of this post is to answer a riddle (question?) Triforce asked.  If I knew I could go back in time, work hard, and be successful would I do it?  It seemed pretty straight forward.  I thought long and hard about it, did some soul searching and came up with the following.

I am 29 sitting in a bar pretending to be a soldier in order to get women and free drinks.  But that’s not the worst of it.  I would do it simply for the subtle kudos and the fact that I no longer needed to be embarassed when I say I am going back to my mom’s place.  One time I almost crapped myself when real soldiers rolled into the bar.  I could see patrons pointing him in my direction.  I could tell he could smell a fake.  I spent the next two hours standing on a toilet seat with the door locked.

So yes if I could go back in time I would and I told Mike Triforce as much.  He said “wrong answer” and smacked me. 

So I thought about it again and then I realized that even though nobody ELSE sees value in my life, it’s my life, and it was worth living and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

So no if I could go back in time I wouldn’t change a thing and I told Mike Triforce as much.  He said “wrong answer” and smacked me. 

So this was my last chance to get it right.  I panicked, got drunk, and vomited in his new guitar.  He didn’t hit me though which was nice.  After I stole enough instruments from the school where I substitute teach to replace his guitar did he give me the answer: That if I could go back in time, there were a million ways I could be successful AND NOT work hard.  Gambling came most readily to mind.

Before the Princess woke up and Mike Triforce started taking off his pants and ushering me out, he said this: find your time machine. Pretty easy to say if your job involves writing “historical fiction.”  I think I will shave my head and see if I can pass for a Marine tonight.