[Original content temporarily suspended as a professional courteousy until the ethical investigation is complete. Older posts that failed to make the original cut will be rotated and substituted. If you have any questions, thoughts, concerns and most importantly if you need a copy of the ORIGINAL POST please contact nick@debtorsprison.com]

Mike Triforce here. Benito asked me to pen part 2 of the student loan overhaul piece. Alpha Man complained of getting the shaft because his entry would have been too political. He said I get to write this because I have a more “conservative voice.” He then asked if he could contribute. I said no.  But then again I am about to write about something completely different SO perhaps he will get his wish.

I am a political party of one. I have only voted twice in my life and both were local elections where I personally knew the candidate and stood to directly benefit from their election. Read on to for enlightenment on the rest of my political philosophy.

My political philosophy stems from the extreme likelihood that I will have a career in politics. After all I am a lawyer, actor and soon to be very wealthy. Being a political party of one means putting your own self-interest above all else, particularly your own ideology. If I wanted to change the world I’d start a lobbying firm. My vote as a civilian and future public servant will always be for sale and I will always work hard to make sure that vote is worth as much as possible. To that end I would be a conservative democrat or a moderate Republican. My hope would be to someday pull a Joe Liebermann or Arlen Specter.

I respect Sarah Palin alot. Folks she’s the girl in high school who already had two abortions and was constantly losing her glasses on her head. She was so eager to sell out she didn’t even finish her first term as Governor and somehow stands for family values when her daughter is clearly a spoiled slut. I say more power to her. It’s all about that dollar. 

I also respect Barack Obama. Come on folks, he has the name of a taxi driver who complains about no tip after going five blocks out of your way in rush hour traffic. He defeated the entire Republican party in a debate on their home turf. He slapped the Supreme Court in the face. He called a cop stupid and managed not to get gunned down. Alpha Man says that’s his most impressive accomplishment. I think it was the memoirs he wrote to pay off his student loan debt. I am already lobbying Benito to let me turn our body of this collective work into a book.

The party I join will be wholly dependent on the state of my network when the time comes to run for office. I will eventually run for President against a strong incumbent (thereby not ending political career should I lose) quietly setting the stage for a young upstart who will run and most likely win four years later. I imagine it will be something like having a genie in a bottle without one’s wishes being limited to three.  I’ll sit on one of the appellate courts, probably the 3rd circuit, retire with full salary and then go (most likely back) to being a partner at my toilet firm, which don’t get me wrong I love because my actual hours are better than a kid with only two people on his paper route.