Dear Mr. Tyler:

My name is Benito Mario and it is my humble request that you pay my student loans.  You may wonder why I am writing you specifically for this undeserved handout.  Mostly its because your decision to forego your senior year of HIGH SCHOOL not college is causing your name to trend highly on yahoo at the moment I am sitting down to write this before I get to a more serious post.

There are other reasons though.  You and I are actually alot alike.  Read on to find out how.

You and are alot alike Mr. Tyler.  We both realize the limits of education.  You will forego school to make a fortune, I paid a fortune to go to school.  You are foregoing a high school diploma for paper worth something, I paid alot for several graduate level diplomas worth nothing but the value of their paper.  We have mustaches.  Both are perhaps ill-adviced.

We’ve also faced adversity.  After working hard for almost 20 years to excel academically, I find myself over-qualified for most jobs, unemployed and drowning in debt.  After…living for almost 20 years to excel at basketball you find yourself under-qualified for the NBA and college ball since you failed to graduate from high school.  I owe about 210k and you made 140k, both divisible by 70k.  Ok, that’s a stretch.  I actually owe 213k, well 212k and change.  While that’s more than what you’ve made to date technically, I am sure you’ll meander your way into the NBA before any of these other celebrities who have already made it will actually do me the courtesy of returning my letter.

Well keep your chin up.  As a fellow grown-man having gone back to living with his mother after failing in his first outing into the real world I can tell you that you eventually get numb enough to the shame that you can at least function on a daily basis.  We are a part of a special brotherhood.  And that’s why you should pay off my debt and invite me to join your entourage once you make it big.