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I got into the office uncharacteristically early because the Princess’ foghorn-like snoring kept waking me up. I stumbled upon this link (Link, get it?) from ATL

http://abovethelaw.com/2010/03/mutiny_at_mayer_brown.php#comments

For those too lazy to follow the link two kids who got deferred from their law firm made a stink about it. Over 300 comments followed, most stating the obvious: they’re ruined. Here’s what the two plucky bastards SHOULD have done, particularly if their deferment came with free money.

First, a tell-tale sign of loserdom is desperation. By whining these kids have made themselves seem desperate. Law firms generally want winners. Next, there are four general gentlemanly pursuits for the young elite to make money while waiting for their next legitimate gig: poker, pool, sport gambling and day trading. Bar tending is fun, easy, and leads to encounters with promiscuous individuals but unless you move their is always the chance of serving someone at your future firm or worse a future opposing counsel. Mastering a gentlemanly pursuit also keeps paying once your day job starts, particularly if you neglect it, which I do.

Me? I’m a card player. Always have been. I think that’s what lends itself most to lawyering. For you coordinated types pool is the way to go. It’s geometry with a dash of physics folks. For those on the cerebral side day trading is probably your best bet. Finally, if you are skilled in none of these your best bet is finding a bookie.

Ever notice how the girl who knows nothing about basketball always wins the office/class pool? Ever wanted to be that vacant eyed, hair twirling, leg spreading wealthy misfit? You can. Here’s how.

The best jobs in the world involve taking something an expert took countless hours/days/years to create and finding fault with it. Political pundits, Movie critics and…sports casters. All you have to do is read the expert opinions and bet on cases where for whatever reason you think they are wrong. Given under dog odds you can be wrong 75% of the time and still make money. The only catch is you can’t make bets involving teams you care about. When you think about it you can’t lose.  You are betting that even experts make mistakes and you’d be right 100% of the time.

There are lots of other great ideas to make that dollar. Set up a fake literary agency. Read college essays online. Assist minors in throwing parties. Put your girl on the corner where the Princess is heading if she doesn’t stop snoring like a jack hammer, I don’t care how late you were out closing out the bar and PLEASE shower when you get home…so angry. I could go on but Benito has requested that I stop advocating for illegal or unethical courses of action. He’s worried someone at my firm will read this…let me repeat. I DONT GIVE A FUCK! Personally I’d be more worried about the Princess reading this, lest she enter the world’s oldest profession as an entrepreneur instead of as an employee.